Hope when hopeless (or why I hate my body)...10 DPO

That's how I feel. There is this tiny glimmer of hope, even with the bleeding, that the dr's office will call and say that my beta was positive at 9 DPO. It's insanity to believe that it's possible, since I've been bleeding or spotting since the day I o'd. I'm not even going to call to check on the results, I'm just going to wait until they call me. I just want to know why I'm bleeding; I just need answers.