Balance *Updated

D and K, with me in the background.

Update: She weighs 12 lbs, 15 oz so she gained 1 lb, 9 oz in 3 weeks or just over 8 oz a week.  I'm so happy!

I'm having a hard time right now finding balance right now.  I just feel very stressed out right now.  K has gone from taking about 16 ounces of formula a day to about 10 or so this past week.  I'd love to think that it's because she's getting more from me, but due to all the feeding drama we've had, I don't know.  She's pretty happy most of the time, especially compared to when she was younger before we started supplementing, but I just don't really have any confidence in the area of feeding anymore.  We are doing a weigh-in tomorrow so I'll know if she has gained well enough or not.  If not, I don't really know what we can do, as D has told me since I'm constantly offering and she just doesn't seem to want anymore.  I'll update with tomorrow's weight.  I'm still mainly supplementing at the breast, but she will take bottles now so she may take 1-2 ounces a day that way when she's too riled up to latch.

I'm having a hard time balancing my class, K's needs, housework, playing and interacting with K, and spending time with D.  K getting fed and diaper changes is obviously my priority, but I feel like everything else is not getting done as it should.  D works a lot so I try to make sure that the three of us spend time together when he's not.  I feel like I should be playing more with her than I do, but then I get behind on my other responsibilities.  Please pray that I can keep it together and figure out how to best balance everything.

The Weight Gain Saga continues...

She only gained 2-3 oz in the last week.  She was between 10 lbs, 4 and 5 oz at the last weigh in.  This week she's only 10 lbs, 7 oz. The pediatrician wants us to go back up on formula about 4 oz or so (to about 14 oz a day).  I'm guessing at this point that she won't be off the formula before we start solids at 6 months.

She's also not napping well lately.  She's just catnapping 15-30 minutes.  She had been doing well about transferring. She'd fall asleep while eating and I could put her in her pack-and-play, and she'd sleep about 2 hours.  The past four or five days, she's been waking as I put her down or after maybe 5-10 minutes.  It's hard for me to get her to sleep without using the breast, although D can in the evening many times.  She usually gets really worked up if I let   It's also challenging since she eats every two hours or so when she's awake, there is not much time when she's not eating to get her to sleep.

Here's a video of her rolling over.

Formula weaning and K pics

K gained about 4-5 ounces  this week, which isn't terrible but it's not great either.  We are going to stick with 10 ounces of formula/supplement a day for the next week.  We'll see how her gain is next week on whether we continue to wean from the supplement, we stay where we're at with supplementing , or we go back up on the supplement.  She has about 3 more weeks until she's 4 months old.

K now rolls over almost immediately as soon as we put her on her back.

K, D and me on Independence Day.

K's pouty face.

K's baptism, June 5.

D and K on Father's Day.

D, K, and me on the beach in Hawaii after my brother's wedding.

18 ounces

K gained 18 ounces this past week.  The pediatrician wants her on 20 ounces of formula one more week and then we start weaning her off.  We are still supplementing at the breast and I'll hopefully get my new pump by Friday or Saturday.  Any advice on transitioning back to just breast milk would be appreciated, and I'm going to talk to my lactation consultant about it.

Supplementing at the breast

K won't take a bottle.  In some ways, this is good since I am ending up supplementing her at the breast so she is getting breast milk in addition to the formula and hopefully stimulating my breasts to produce more.  She also nurses at night without the supplementer.

What we are currently using is a gerryrigged version of an SNS (supplemental feeding system).  It's a feeding tube (5 French) attached to a 12 ml syringe.  I make up two 9 oz bottles of formula each night  and put them in the fridge.  I then pour an ounce or two at a time into a smaller bottle (K is very inconsistent about how much she takes at a feeding) and draw it into the syringe.  The tubes are tape on each breast basically right at the nipple.  K latches on and I make sure the tube is in her mouth. I push the syringe based on how quickly she is swallowing.  It's a bit messy and cumbersome, but it gets nourishment into her and hopefully avoids reducing my milk supply any further.  I may consider getting a manufactured SNS after we see how long we might need this.

If anyone has been able to wean off formula back to just breastmilk, I need some ideas for talking to my doctor once we can get her weight gain where he wants it.  I am pumping, but feeding is so timing-consuming I don't get to pump much and I haven't gotten my new pump yet.  Right now I'm getting about 3 oz a day if I'm lucky.  I am considering donated breastmilk.

Formula sucks

K will be on formula for the next week.  She gained 3 oz in the past week, and her pediatrician wanted about 7 oz.  I'll be giving the formula through an supplemental nursing system (SNS) at the breast and pumping like crazy.  She's supposed to get 20 oz. of formula a day and I can nurse at night.  I just want whatever needs to happen for her to be able to go back to exclusive breastfeeding as soon as possible and her to grow in a healthy way.

I don't want to deal with stinky formula poops and I hate mixing bottles.  I may be having to give her formula, but I don't have to like it.

Frustration

First, please pray that K will have gained the 1/2 pound or so that her doctor wants.  Her appointment is at 1:30 CDT today, 6/28.  I have been supplementing her with 5 or so ounces of pumped breast milk per day.  I've also heard her swallow more.

Second, I'm getting really frustrated with the lack of support that I'm getting from my family.  My mom, MIL and D haven't said anything about all the effort that I'm putting into pumping.  People have suggested formula even though I have been able to pump enough milk so far.  My mom and MIL did both breastfeed, but they aren't experts and have said a couple things that aren't accurate.

K does seem to be a bit happier (as long as she's gotten enough sleep), so I hope that that's a sign that the gain will be good too.

Weight gain issues

K is still having weight gain issues.  I took her to get a weight check at the pediatricians office and she had lost an ounce in a week when she should have gained about 6-7 ounces.  I'd been feeding her constantly, and had pumped a little bit but not given it to her.  The pediatrician said that I needed to supplement her 1/2 to 1 ounce 5-6 times a day (so at least 3-4 ounces a day).  He gave me formula, but I don't want to give her formula unless I can't make the milk.  I called and talked to my Lactation Consultant and then to Sew to dealt with the same issues.  Sew's pep talk has given me the confidence to supplement with just expressed breast milk, even though it requires a lot of time and effort.

I'm basically feeding her, giving her the supplemental breast milk and then pumping and then repeating, unless she's asleep or won't nurse.  I do get some breaks, but my day is mostly feeding or pumping or washing the pumping stuff.  Most of th

I was so upset about her lack of weight gain.  Especially since she's exclusively breastfed, it makes me feel like a failure as a mother.  It seems like my body doesn't do things like it's supposed to.  The years, surgeries and medications that it took to get pregnant, the bleeding that I had during pregnancy, and now breastfeeding issues.  I'm just ready for something to work right.

Please pray that we can get her weight gain on the right track and I can keep from getting too overwhelmed.  It's very stressful and tiring right now.

K is 2 months old, and breastfeeding issues * Updated with thyroid numbers

*Update: Here are my thyroid numbers from local ob: T4 7.6, TSH 2.73, T3Free 3.1.  They said these are normal, but I want to get you lovely ladies opinion.  Thanks.

K turned 2 months old last Wednesday.  She had her two month appointment on Tuesday.  In general she looks great, but she isn't gaining enough weight.  She was born 6 lbs., 6 oz. and has only gained about 2 lb; she weighs 8 lbs., 4 oz.  Because she isn't gaining well and she's exclusively breastfed, I met with a lactation consultant yesterday.  She said that K's high palate and slightly misaligned jaw and tongue might be causing some latch issues and discomfort that causes her to stop feeding prematurely.  She also said that I should have her pediatrician check her for torticollis, which is a twisting of the neck due to overly tight muscles that causes the head to tilt to one side, since she always tilts her head to the left.

When the LC weighed her before and after feeding, she only took in about half the amount that she needs.  I feel terrible that I didn't realize that there was a problem, but I didn't know that she wasn't gaining enough and she has plenty of wet and dirty diapers.  The fact that she's not getting enough likely explains why she's so upset all the time.  In some ways it's good that there is a problem because it can be fixed hopefully.

The LC recommended some exercises that might help release and realign her neck, tongue and jaw.  She might also need to get some physical/occupational therapy or craniosacral therapy.  She wants me to feed her even more on demand and change sides and positions more during feedings.  Even though generally they say check other things first and don't assume hunger, right now the first thing I need to try is feeding her even when she just ate recently.  She also recommended some foods to eat like oatmeal, flax seed, and eggs (there are more and I can post it later if anyone wants me to do so).  I'm also taking an herb called Shatavari that is supposed to help with supply and getting my thyroid tested again (hasn't been done postpartum).

I'll post about how the Hawaii trip went in the next few days.  She did well on the plane.