Scary bleeding (TMI warning) ETA

Last night I had some really heavy bleeding. I completely soaked a pad in about 2 hours and had very large clots. It was the heaviest bleeding I've ever had (and I'm only P+10). I had some cramping but they weren't too bad. I was very thankful D was home when it happened since I was quite concerned that I might have to go to the ER or Urgent Care. I took some flax oil (like is recommended in Fer.tility, Cy.cles and Nutr.ition, and it slowed down. I don't know if the flax oil actually helped out or not, but if it starts back I'll try again. I called PPVI and talked to a nurse who is going to see what Dr. H has to say and I'll update once I hear back. My body truly does have some serious issues.

ETA: I didn't go to the ER or urgent care because the bleeding lasted 2-3 hours, and it slowed down a lot right after I got concerned. No word from Dr. H yet.

Technology breakdown

D's computer, our wireless router, our modem, and I all had a breakdown on Sunday evening. D's computer was his work computer so that is still with the IT dept. trying to fix it. He got a new laptop yesterday which I am borrowing today since my computer is both physically broken and incredibly slow. We had to buy a new wireless router since ours got fried somehow (the one we had was free so it wasn't as bad as if we had bought the original). Luckily the modem just got reset when the wireless blew out so we just had call our ISP to get the user name and password to reset. We also got 2 large TV that we bought from one of D's work friends for $350. We still don't have cable/satellite but we are getting satellite when my parents move to Qatar for my dad's work later this year.

I am going to visit my parents this weekend since a friend is having a bridal shower this Sunday in our hometown. My mom recently got a new computer so I'm going to get my dad to put my hard drive in her old computer and hopefully the performance will improve.

My cousin who was having premature labor at 32 weeks had her son at 35-36 weeks. He is doing well and didn't have to go to the NICU or special care nursery.

P.S. I need some prayers that the little girl that I nanny for will get into the Montes.sori school (for preschool) for the fall. She's on the waiting list and she really needs the Montes.sori style schooling enviroment. I think she will do so much better there than a traditional school environment and that will reduce my stress as well as her parents' stress.

The stress of all our technology breaking down at once plus normal period crazies was not a good combo. I'm feeling emotionally better but the cramps kicked in yesterday and now they are quite painful. Also my hypoglycemia has been bothering me a bit lately and I feel nauseated unless I eat something every hour or so.

Nothing yet

I haven't yet received anything from Dr. Hilgers.  I knew that there was only a small chance that I would be getting my response by today, but I was hoping that it would come.  I guess there's a possibility that testing could get started this cycle, but I think that every day that goes by makes it less likely.

I've had pretty strong cramps all day.  I don't know if they bothered me more since all I had to do today was get the kids I nanny for to and from school (the parents are out of town and grandma is watching the little one during the day).  They seem stronger than what I've had in the last few months (although there in line with what I've had before).

D played basketball yesterday, and he went to go work out after work today.  Hopefully this is the beginning of a good habit.  Now I just need to get him to take his vitamins regularly; he's horrible about remembering.

I finally got around to registering at our parish.  I started going to Mass regularly in September, but D had said that he might look for a new job and we might move (not in the cards for now).  I put on the registration that I'd be interested in VITA, the pro-life ministry.  I hope that I'll be able to find a good way to volunteer and also get to know some people at church.  Currently, I only know the teachers at the church school and the parents and students I taught for 2 months last year (before realizing that teaching is not how I want to spend my life).  

N, the oldest child of the family I nanny for, is in the grade with the kids that I taught.  It's funny to spend so much time at that school now.  S, the 3-year-old girl, is in PK-3 there too.  S has been have more behavior problems at school after Christmas.  She had some problems with listening and following directions at the beginning of the year, but she had been doing pretty well before Christmas.  However, it seems like she has reverted during the break.  Since I'm the one who picks her up, I am the one who hears about the day from her teachers (they send a note as well when she has a "red" (poor behavior) day).  She is a very willful girl, and doesn't do to well with respecting authority.  She is very smart so she is the youngest in her class, which can be a big deal at 3.  The little boy, W, is 16 1/2 months and is very funny.  He talks a little, but get very frustrated when you don't understand or take something from him.  He's generally very sweet though (despite headbutts of love).  He always comes to me when I come over, even when it's not for work, and wants me to hold him or hug him.  

I'm still trying to figure out what I want to do with my life (careerwise).  I hope to be able to be a SAHM after we have kids, but I'll probably go back to work once they are all in school.  I don't know what I want to do then , but I'd like to figure it out in the near future.  It's something that I try to remember to pray about.

#100...Crazy dream and other stuff

I'm mostly over my cold as of yesterday. When I was sickest on Sunday, FP had slowed back to spotting, but yesterday I felt better and FP and the cramps kicked into full gear. I'm also pretty sure that I have shingles, because I get a rash when I get sick and it's always in the same place on my left hip.

So my crazy dream was that my brother's girlfriend was pregnant. The dream probably has something to do with the fact that two of my cousin's wives on one side and one of my cousins (she's 19 and unmarried) are all pregnant right now, and I'm not sure that we can actually get pregnant without medical intervention, and that intervention is not happening any time soon (the beginning of next year is the earliest it could happen). I think D understands that there is probably something wrong with at least one of us (quite possibly both since my body is crazy and won't stop bleeding). He admitted the possibility that there might be something wrong on his end, since so far all of my tests are ok.

When I talked about the problems earlier this week with D, it seems to be better. D is being a bit weird, but I think everything is ok. He's decided he likes sleeping on the couch, but he's ok with me sleep there with him. I can't stay the whole night since I get uncomfortable, but it's better than sleeping alone the whole night in the queen bed.

A couple of girls on the nest 6+ board just found out that they are pregnant. I'm very happy for them, but the fact that they all did ART (2 IUIs and 1 IVF) makes me think that it won't happen for us naturally. Yes, this is only cycle #12, but we are getting to month 14. Also, it seems pretty clear to me that there are some problems with me since I've bleed from a couple days after o until FP for the past three cycles. I really hope that this cycle is at least normal enough that I won't start bleeding before FP; that's all I'm asking for right now. I would love a BFP, but I would be happy with a normal cycle where I o before CD 21 and don't bleed before FP.

Cramps and spotting

I started getting cramps and a backache yesterday, and it has continue to hurt off and on today. I'm still spotting/bleeding, and I don't expect that to end before FP. I wish this would stop, because it has to be reducing our chances (who knows what's wrong and how low they are anyways?). The stupid tiny little smidgen of hope is still trying to hang around too.

Weekend

My parents came to visit this weekend. We got wood to make storage in the garage rafter, and the stuff to make in-house attic access. Right now the only way into the attic is a tiny hole in the pantry and you have to move all the shelves out. I'm hoping that D will get that sorted out by the end of August.

He's out of town again this week, but it should be the last week that he's traveling for a while. He should be home next week and then we leave for SIL's wedding and we'll be gone for that work week (plus a couple days).

I'm sad that D's gone again. It doesn't help that I didn't sleep well last night and I have major cramps. I really hope that my body will get back to normal after the Provera, so we'll at least have a chance this cycle. I'm so tired of bleeding. Since the beginning of June I've only had about 10 day were I wasn't bleeding.

Ouch

Cramps suck. Nothing else to say.