Cycle update etc.

I'm on CD 11 and I'm still spotting which is crappy.  I've been feeling my ovaries more this cycle, but I'm not sure why.  They actually feel a bit like they did on clomid where pressure is uncomfortable.  I'm hoping the spotting will finish up so that I can actually o at a decent time.  I'm going to be starting the T3 soon (whopee on checking pulse and temps 3x a day).

I don't know if it's the fact that 2 years is getting close or D's best friend's wedding coming up soon (or some crazy hormonalness) but I've been feeling sad about IF this cycle than I had in a while.  I did however find out at the bridal shower (same wedding) that an acquaintance from my church in my hometown is now dealing with secondary IF after dealing with primary IF.  We commiserated about the fact that there was a woman there who was pregnant with her 10th child; how it's great for her but it's still hard to see when you have been waiting for the same blessing for a few years.  I'm trying to bear my cross and surrender to God's will, but right now I'm having a tough time. 

 

I've done a little writing (like 2 pages or so) on the book, but I'm going to try to do some more over the weekend now that I have a more functional computer.  I'm not sure if I'm ever going to be able to make it a true book or ever get it sold but I feel that I need to try to get it down on paper at least.  I may at some point make a private blog for it.

Book?

I've been thinking for a while that there aren't any books that I've found that are for infertile Catholics who want to follow the Church's teaching. Most of the books that I've seen about IF focus on ART, and as far as I know even the Christian one's aren't written from a Catholic perspective. I kind feel like maybe I should write (or be part of writing) "A Catholic Couple's Guide to Infertility". I'm not sure how realistic it is, but I've been thinking about it ever since I found AYWH's blog. I'm not a fabulous writer, but like I said this has been in my heart for about 6 months now. Thoughts? Anyone interested in helping write or anything if this actually happens?

Waiting

I'm still spotting/bleeding, but it's not heavy enough to count as my period yet.  It looks like it'll be another time where I'm bleeding for at least 20 straight days (I'm already at 10).  I've been feeling sad and stressed.  My 5 1/2 year old computer is falling apart, but it's going to be a while before we can get a new one. we won't have our credit card balances paid off until July and then we have to save up for a computer.  My car (2001 Honda) is still in good shape, but it's in for a major service costing about $600 since it's got almost 150,000 miles on it and we plan to keep it for hopefully about 5 more years.  

I contacted PPVI since it's been almost 6 weeks since they receive my letter.  They said that Dr. Hilgers will hopefully be working on the response this weekend.  She took my email address and will email me the letter when it's ready, so that's good news.  Most likely, I won't be able to do anything until next cycle unless the response is on Monday or Tuesday.  Of course testing and treatment will cost money.

I know I shouldn't be worrying about things as much as I am.  I need to work on putting things in God's hands.  I'm almost finished reading Left to Tell; I need to be more like Immaculee, her faith in such harrowing circumstances is amazing.