Break cycle

D caught the cold I had before my surgery, and I'm pretty sure I'm P+2 today. We didn't use any days of fertility since he was sick. I had serious ovary pain on Wednesday, which I'm pretty sure was peak day. I'm pretty bloated still. We are going to a wedding this weekend and I was trying on dresses, and D commented on how bloated I am and how I look pregnant in one of the dress. I'm not wearing that one, obviously since I don't want to look pregnant if I don't actually get to be pregnant. Thankfully we don't have any more weddings that I know of until about 2.5 months after my next surgery.

I'm not too concerned about a break cycle now since it's unlikely that anything will happen before I get the endo removed and the uterine inflammation treated. I have pretty much moved on to not have a chance of having a child before 2011 since we wouldn't really have a chance until my April cycle. I'm hoping that Dr. H will have some results of the cortisol b/w and the cultures from the surgery by the first of the year. I'll hopefully have some treatment started by the time my next surgery happens.

My mom is coming from Qatar for my surgery (which was moved to March 8), and she has been buying all the plane tickets and get the hotel reserved and everything. D is staying in Omaha until Friday, and my mom is flying back with me and then staying at our house through the weekend since D will be working.

Creighton Follow-up yesterday

I had follow-up 5 with my Creighton practitioner yesterday.  As I suspected, I'll be doing yellow stamps for non-peak mucus post peak.  I was starting to worry that I would run out of baby stamps otherwise :).  I'm updating my Creighton chart with the mucus cycle scores and such that she gave me.  She agreed that from 10/22 to 12/8 was all one cycle with a double peak.  The mucus cycle score for the cycle starting 9/22 was 14.6 and for the cycle starting 10/22 was 13.  

In other news, D has an ear infection.  He went to the dr and is on antibiotics and prescription antihistimine/decongestant.  He also got a shot of steriod shot in his butt.  I am actually going to see the same doctor tomorrow because my ears have been bothering me.

Today is day 4 of my 54 day novena, so yesterday I prayed the sorrowful mysteries.  The bearing of the crossing and patient bearing of trial were something that I needed badly to being praying for.

Not real cycle news since I'm on day 3, just normal bleeding.  

12/13 DPO

I'm nearing the end of my LP.  I'm in the phase where I'm constantly checking for spotting or bleeding, and I'm off work so I'm less distracted from it.  The good news is that there's no spotting yet.  I've never had an LP longer than 12 days except on progesterone, so the next cycle should be here by the end of the day tomorrow.

Since I didn't ovulate until CD 35 or 36, I'm actually at the longest cycle length I've had since TTC (today is CD 48).

I was going to go to the 9:45 Mass today, but my husband is still sick and therefore snorning.  It isn't very loud, but when I wake up in the night I can't get back to sleep.  I'm very lucky that he only snores when he's sick; it would be really hard for me if he snored normally.  So the point of that was that I slept in until about 9:30, so I'll have to go to 6pm Mass.

9/10 DPO and Dr. Hilgers got my letter

I'm currently 9/10 DPO (P+8).  Both D and I have been sick for a while now.  D was up a couple times during the night, which kept me up too.  Luckily, I got off early today and was able to take a nap.  I have had a bit of a bloody nose since my nose has been messed up for a while.  CD 1 of cycle #15 should finally be here between Sunday and Tuesday, which will make it 47-49 days long.  Even if I o'd on the later day, our timing was still likely bad since it was late at night so the egg might have been degraded by then.  We'll have been married 17 months in a little over a week, and cycle #15 will have just started.

I got my acknowledgment from PPVI that Dr. Hilgers received my letter.  It was dated Tuesday.  The acknowledgment letter says that I should receive a reply within 6 weeks,  which will be around January 14 (when will have been married 18 months).  I'm really looking forward to receiving his reply.

I was supposed to have my 5th follow-up (it's by phone) on Wednesday, but it completely slipped my mind.  It's rescheduled for next Wednesday, and I put a reminder in Outlook.

 

I'm off all next week since the family I nanny for will be on vacation in D.isne.y Worl.d.  Hopefully the kids will be better by the tim   D said he would take a day some time next week, but he hadn't put in last time I asked.  We are going to go see a movie with our friend C tonight.  

I have about 2o of my 50 Christmas cards finish, and I'll be send the first batch early next week.  One of my goals for next week is to get the Christmas cards done.  I have been using my iPod's notes function to look at a text version of my address file.  That has allowed me to do cards while I'm working.  W (the little boy I nanny for) will try to mess with my computer if it's where he can reach, but he doesn't find the iPod as interesting.  

Feeling left behind

I used spend a lot of time on the Nest TTC message boards, but I don't go on much lately.  I do lurk every one in a while to check and see if there are any new pregnancies.  There have been a lot of pregnancies there and in the blogs that I read, and some women have gone through their entire pregnancy since I start reading their blogs.  I'm really happy for them that they have finally been blessed with motherhood, especially since they are IF.  The problem is that I feel left behind.  I just keep seeing their tickers go up week by week, and I feel no closer to acheive a pregnancy.  It doesn't help when I have my period and my hormones are wacky and I just feel sad and want to cry.

I'll be sending my letter to Dr. Hilgers tomorrow afternoon, hopefully, if I can get my records from my dr's office.  I'm probably going to have to bring the little boy I nanny for with me (and hopefully his big brother to walk around with him) while I get the records.  I really need to get the letter sent so that I can feel like I'm making some progress.

Right now, I don't feel like any of the cycles have a chance of working.  We are still going to try of course, but the confidence isn't there. I need some answers from Dr. Hilgers on the kinds of testing and treatments that we might be looking at, and getting that done before I'll have any real hope that I can get pregnant.  I feel like it's going to be at least 6 months if not a year from now before we have a chance of this working.  It's almost been 18 months since we started trying, and I'm thinking it's going to be at least 2 years from when we started trying before we might have some success.

I'm only having light flow today, which is strange for me for CD 4.  I also seemed to be having some 10KL.  My body is obviously very confused.

D and I were looking at my chart, and he wants to try to start having sex earlier, like CD 12 and do it every other day.   He's worried that we are missing it and that my temp spike doesn't happen until a couple of days after I o.  I'm all for more sex; D has generally been the one who's too stressed and tired.  I know that this is a strange request, but please pray that D will follow through with this.  

D left for another business trip this afternoon.  He wasn't feeling well before he left, but luckily he was feeling better when I called to check on him.  I'm ready for Wednesday, since D and I will be meeting up then at his parents' house and then we'll be having Thanksgiving with both families.

CD 10

I stopped bleeding Friday, but I had some spotting yesterday. I'm really hoping that it's done with or will be soon since I've been spotting or bleeding 58 days since the beginning of June (when all this craziness started). If it was all put together I've been spotting or bleeding 2 whole months out of the past three.

D caught my cold and has had a bad cough for 4 or 5 days now. It's actually bad enough that it kept me up a lot of last night, until he went to see in the other room. I'm really hoping that he'll be better soon; it bothers me so much to not be able to make him feel better.

W, the boy that I nanny, had his first birthday on Saturday. D and I went to the party, and it was a pretty good time. D had never met them, so it was nice that he went with me. W was funny since he won't let some of his relatives hold him but he'd practically try to jump into my arms.

Despite my strong political feelings, I generally avoid political discussions since I tend to avoid conflict. However, I was so happy when I heard about McCain picking Palin as his VP running mate. I'm so glad he picked a good pro-life, conservative and the cherry on top is that she's a woman.

I've decided that it's time for me to go back to church. I haven't really been going since we moved here about 2 years ago, but I actually taught for a few months at the school connected to the parish. It's also where the older two kids I that I nanny go to school (one's in 6th grade and the other in PK-3). I don't think that D will go with me, even though he's Catholic too. I was reading a blog that has been pushing me to get back into it, and they also talk about the Creighton Model which is something I'm going to look into. I just wish that there was something closer than where we used to live.