Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Trying to trust God and my husband
After some frustration with the "trying" aspect of TTC, I am trying avoid it feeling like work. I'm working on trusting that if God wants us to have a baby, he will make sure that we get together at the right time (as long as we are not actively trying to thwart him). Me initiating and pushing is removing the unitive aspect, and so I need to back off and let my husband let in that department. It's not easy since we are doing our 21-day antibiotic right now and it's hard to feel like they aren't being wasted if we don't have good timing. Also, I'm trying to trust that whenever my husband decides to initiate will be fine whether it means our timing is good or not. Our schedules right now make it a challenge to find time for it after K is asleep. This cycle's late ovulation is making it more difficult, and I think that I may have finally ovulated yesterday, but we only used P-2. I need to work on releasing control, especially over my fertility (or lack thereof).