Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Trying to trust God and my husband

After some frustration with the "trying" aspect of TTC, I am trying avoid it feeling like work.  I'm working on trusting that if God wants us to  have a baby, he will make sure that we get together at the right time (as long as we are not actively trying to thwart him).  Me initiating and pushing is removing the unitive aspect, and so I need to back off and let my husband let in that department.  It's not easy since we are doing our 21-day antibiotic right now and it's hard to feel like they aren't being wasted if we don't have good timing.  Also, I'm trying to trust that whenever my husband decides to initiate will be fine whether it means our timing is good or not.  Our schedules right now make it a challenge to find time for it after K is asleep.  This cycle's late ovulation is making it more difficult, and I think that I may have finally ovulated yesterday, but we only used P-2.  I need to work on releasing control, especially over my fertility (or lack thereof).

Monday, August 27, 2012


I feel terrible saying this when I have already received the blessing of one wonderful, smart (although very intense) daughter, and others are still waiting for even one.  I'm jealous of pregnant women.  A friend of mine recently announced her pregnancy with their 3rd child.  My body does not seem to be cooperating this cycle and I'm on day 24 or so and haven't ovulated yet, and the scheduled marital act is getting old, although we did have a talk about it last night after some frustration on both sides.  I'm not really yet secondary infertility and I am still breastfeeding relatively frequently.  We are on the 21 day antibiotic this cycle, so I have 3 weeks of nausea without the benefit of even being pregnant yet (I had it with the cyclical before conceiving K as well).  Well, I'd better get to bed since I'm done working for the night and K will be up in about 6 hours or so.  I need to balance out by posting about K soon.

Saturday, August 4, 2012

New Cycle (#4 TTC #2), What to do?

We are onto our 4th cycle TTC #2.  I'm trying to figure out what I need to try this coming cycle, since I'd like to try a few more things this cycle to feel like we are making a strong effort.  I need to figure out what else to ask Dr. H.ilgers about during my cycle review.  I'm still breastfeeding K (16 months tomorrow) fairly frequently and want to continue to feed her on demand until 18 months at which point I will try to wean to about 4 feedings a day (early morning, after wakeup, before nap, before bedtime).  I do try to offer her other options like water or a snack and she has to ask with signs for more milk.

I didn't need any ovulation medication to get pregnant with K although I did take either Vitex or a fertility blend herb that cycle.  I wasn't on progesterone until after the post pregnancy test.  We did take the cyclical antibiotics that cycle.  I am already back on Hydrocort and T3.   I did do the Benadryl P+5-P+9 when I got pregnant and this past cycle, and I will probably do that for future cycles.  Four months before getting pregnant with K, I had a laparotomy for endometrosis.  Dr. H also found inflammation and yeast during my surgeries.  I took Diflucan a few cycles before getting pregnant with K.  My progesterone and estrogen are both around 20 P+7 for the previous 2 cycles that I have had tested.  Is there anything else that I should try or ask Dr. H about?