Friday, April 10, 2009

Good Friday, CD 1...Cycle #19

It looks like today is the start of Cycle #19 (although it's hard to know what's really CD 1 with the crazy bleeding that I have start around 3DPO/just after Peak).  I'm getting frustrated again at the lack of progress we seem to be making.  I'll be doing the Symptom Checklist and Temperature Assessment for the T3 study this month.  Even if the T3 is an issue, I'm pretty sure that it's not what's causing my bleeding.  Since nothing else seems to be hormonely wrong with me, there has to be some sort of structural problem causing it, right?  My surgery won't be until December, which is still 8 months away.  If there is a problem, it might not even be fixed then depending on how serious it is.  I hate the fact that we are going to hit the two-year mark without know the cause of the bleeding (which has to be at least part of the the cause of the infertility).  

D and I had a pretty good time in Las Vegas.  It was kind of tiring though and D is not good about calling it a night around the friends we went with.  I was kind of hopeful when the bleeding/spotting stopped for almost a day, but it started right back up again.  D actually managed to win almost $200, so that was cool.  All the food we ate was great.  I think D had a good 27th birthday.

One of the hardest things to do is remember that my suffering is minor compared to Christ's and to many other people's.  The other thing I have to remember is that without the suffering of Good Friday, there's no joyful resurrection on Easter Sunday.  One day I will receive the joyous gift that God has prepared for me, but it may not be the gift that I hope it is.

1 comment:

  1. Hearing about your crazy bleeding makes me want so much for you to get well soon. I have to tell you that you will get better! You will have normal periods one day! You will get a BFP one day! I had crazy cycles and would bleed all the freaking time! After my first surgery, I went to the post op appt and he taught my husband how to give me progesterone shots and because we were tracking the cycles so well he really knew what days for me to take them. I was spotting during my first surgery and then he had me start taking progesterone which I had my first shot at PPVI and then we picked up the meds from the pharmacy there in Omaha before we left. They gave me enough to last until my next surgery and even before my second surgery, my cycles started looking like the ones in the instruciton manuel (the ones that were 'normal'). I believe you will get there! I am still waiting for my BFP, but I do now have much better cycles and I am not bleeding all the time.
    When we first went to see Dr. Hilgers, we were hopeful, but very mindful that he could tell us there was nothing he could do. I guess this was bc that is what every other doctor said. But he was different and my charts are evidence to that. We knew that even if we never conceived again, I needed to be healthy. Praying for you and so glad you had a good little getaway :)