Cycle Review

I finally had my cycle review with PPVI just a little while ago (I'm on CD 5).  Dr. H wants D and I to do cyclical antibiotics for the next 7 cycles.  I'll start this cycle since I rarely peak before CD 16.  They will usually be CD 1-10.  Does anyone have a recommendation on probiotics?

I guess I never mentioned that Dr. H. decided to hold off trying PIO until seeing if there is some improvement from the antibiotics, so I haven't done PIO at all yet.  Hopefully I won't have any bleeding this cycle, but we'll have to see.  My progesterone was 31 and my estrogen was 18.4.  The progesterone is about average for me, but the estrogen is lower than what I've had previously.  Dr. H says the levels are good though.

The one thing that I didn't get any answers on yet was my P+3 u/s.  They do have the disk, but the PPVI u/s techs haven't looked at it and done their report yet.  I asked that they call me once they have the results.

I told D yesterday that I thought that we should continue treatment only until my 31st birthday in October 2011 at which time I'll be about 18 months/cycle out from surgery and we'll have been TTC for over 4 years, and D agreed.  At that time we'll start discussing, looking into, and saving for adoption.  We haven't ever had a serious discussion of adoption, so I wanted D to start thinking about it so that if we get to October 2011 without conceiving we can have that discussion.  We won't TTA after that time, but unless something changes diagnosis-wise, etc we won't be as actively trying.

Crazy couple days coming up

One of my brothers in Houston right now visiting and doesn't have a car, so I'm driving down 4 hours to pick him up on Thursday morning to take him to Austin (another 3 hours) to visit our grandparents and other relatives.  D has to work so it'll just be me and my brother.  D's best friend (who lives in Austin) just had a baby (the one I went to the shower for recently) and so we're going visit them while we are in town.  We are also going to see our brother who just got engaged this past weekend.  My brother wants to go hunting with one of his friends back in Houston on Friday night, so we'll be driving back on Friday afternoon.  I'll probably stay with my in-laws and then leave really early on Saturday morning to make it back here in time for my adoration hour at 11 am.  D works on Saturday so I won't see him until after 5.  One of the good things about being currently unemployed is that I can drive halfway across Texas and back even though it'll be weekdays.

I had some pretty rough cramps this cycle.  I'm really feeling kind of frustrated and defeating in dealing with my body right now.  It's been 3 months today since my surgery.  It's CD 7, and it does look like I'm down to just very light flow/spotting which is good.  Hopefully the spotting will end pretty soon.

CD 1 and Cycle Review

Not surprisingly, today is CD 1.  I've been spotting/bleeding for over a week, so I wasn't really expecting to be pregnant.  I had a 13 day post peak phase.  I called PPVI for my cycle review, and I got my P+7 numbers.  Progesterone was 35.2 ng/mL and estradiol was 34.8 ng/dL (348 pg/ml), so both numbers look very good.  We'll see if even more progesterone will help me to stop spotting.  The nurse is going to ask Dr. H if I should be concerned about the fact that I had a mature size follicle on CD 14, but didn't have my peak day until CD 20.  They are supposed to call me back tomorrow, and I'll post after I hear from them.


This will be my third full cycle after surgery and my surgery was almost three months ago.  My CM this past cycle (with B6 and Muci.nex) was even more wonderful than usual.  If the darn bleeding would stop, we'd be looking pretty good (other than the possible concern about the mature follicle 5 days before having my peak day).  I know that I'm not very far out from surgery, but I'm still frustrated by my bodies lack of cooperation.

CD1

Heavy flow late last night.  I didn't want to get anyone's hopes up.

New Cycle and Some Exciting Stuff

CD 1 was Saturday, D's birthday, which was not ideal timing.  Earlier I had said that my six week surgery phone follow-up was April 12, but it's actually April 19.  I had missed counted.  I had some cramps this cycle, but they weren't as bad as usual and my back didn't hurt at all.

I didn't follow the Endo Diet very well a couple days this week and I've had stomach problems.  I'm going to be more careful about following it (especially avoiding gluten/wheat).

I got the nanny job that I interviewed for on Tuesday.  I'm very excited.  I'll be starting on Monday.  They have 2 1/2 year old boy/girl twins (the boy has Down's) and a little girl who is 6 months old.  The kids seem very sweet and I got along really well with the parents (and they are Catholic, bonus!).  D was very happy that I got the job since my pay ran out last week (plus he's just happy I got it in general).

My dad is going to be back in the States this coming week for a meeting (they live in Qatar), so we are going to meet him in Austin and visit with my brother and my grandparents.  While I'm in the area, I'll also get to meet Keep Calm and Carry On for lunch, which I'm very excited about as well.  She'll be the second blogger friend I've met; I met Life in Mazes about 2 months ago.

Finally really CD 1, Cycle #29

This will be a break cycle due to my surgery, but I finally started my new cycle.  I need to double check my chart, but it looks like I had a 14-15 day LP, with only tiny amounts of pink in my CM for the previous 3 days.  If this is due to the Endo Diet (which I can't guarantee since this was also my first full cycle on cortisol), I'm sold. My mom got into the States yesterday, and is in our hometown until we leave on Sunday for Omaha.  D and I will go down this weekend.

One week, and CD 1

Just some quick stuff:
My surgery is in one week.  My current nanny job is finished on Friday.  I'm stressed out, but it's mainly since I need to find a job soon.  I've applied for a couple things, and we'll see if anything pans out.  Please continue the prayers in this area!

I'm doing pretty well on sticking to the Endo Diet (I've posted about it on my recipe blog and I have some Endo Diet-friendly recipes up in my February and March meal plans).

Today is almost definitely CD 1, though it's not quite officially yet.  That means another 12 day LP and no crazy spotting/bleeding.  Hopefully, once the endo is out, we'll have a decent chance of conceiving.

CD 1...Cycle 28

Today is CD 1.  My surgery is in exactly 5 weeks so we'll see how my cycle falls but unless I don't ovulate until after CD 23 again, I should be in a new cycle for the surgery.  I had a 12 LP with no spotting, so that's good.  I'm not really upset about CD 1.  Our timing wasn't great, I still have endo on my ovaries, and my surgery is coming up soon.  I'm just hoping that we'll have a chance and decent timing in April.

I could tell all day yesterday that CD 1 was coming, but it pretty much just taunted me all day long.  The cramps kicked in early this time.  I usually don't have cramps until about CD 3-4, but they started late last night, and are in full force in my back.  I'm really hoping that something can be done about the length of my period because I don't want to deal with 10+ days of bleeding (yes, it's better than the 21 I'd been having, but still not normal).

D and I had a big blow-out on Friday night, but we've been communicating much better since then.  We had some interesting conversations on Saturday and I'm glad that we got some of the stuff talked about finally.  We have a tendency to get annoyed, but not ever say what the issue is and we talk about some of that stuff.

CD 1...Cycle 27

Yesterday was CD 1, after a tiny bit of pink on Sunday night.  I had a 27 day cycle, with ovulation on CD 16, but only a 11 day LP.  I'm hope that PPVI will call soon after the first of the year with the plan for probable antibiotics,  possible hydrocort (I haven't heard anything about my cortisol level...Misfit, it was just a 9am blood draw), and any other possible treatment for my uterine inflammation.  I just want to have everything in place (and hopefully at therapeutic levels) by the time my cycle after surgery starts.

My bbs hurt something serious.  I've only had pain in them for the past three or four cycles.  My incisions from surgery are doing fine.  I'm still waiting for the redness and crustiness from the allergic reaction around my belly button incision to fully heal, but the actual incision looks pretty good.

We may use days of fertility depending on how we feel, but I don't see full on Trying until after my surgery.

We had a good Christmas.  My brother and I made a whole lot of food for just 3 people, but it was really good and I have had to cook since we have so many leftovers.  I got an ice cream maker attachment for my stand blender and a mini food processor (so I don't have use and clean my big one for small amounts), and both sets of parents sent some money (which will be a big help with the whole second out-of-town surgery in three months thing).  We are going to our hometown for New Year's, which will be fun.

CD 1...Cycle 26

Today is CD 1 (I'm pretty sure...hard to know since I've been spotting/bleeding for over a week), and my surgery is in just over a week. This time next week, we'll be in Omaha (and I'll have to give myself an enema...oh joy). I'll be on CD 9 for my surgery on December 9. My bbs are still hurting which is weird and annoying. It's weird since I've only had it the last few cycles.

CD 1...Cycle 24

Cycle 24 started with a nice clear CD 1 for the first time in months. My LP was 13 days, which is great for me. Overall, I'm feeling pretty good about it and I'm ready for my surgery to be here. It'll be here in about 2 1/2 months.

Busy Weekend

We had friends over for dinner on Friday, and Saturday my dad came to drop off the stuff we are getting while they are overseas. Some of the things they gave us included their fridge, a stand mixer, tools, a mattress and a dining table. I spent Saturday morning (late morning...I was up late Friday night) going to the farmer's market. The farmer's market was ok. There wasn't any fruit when I got there toward the end, but I did get tomatoes. Afterwards I went to W (the boy that I nanny for)'s second birthday party. I did some cleaning before my dad got in town, and then we spent the rest of the night getting stuff unloaded and put in the house.

A lot of the weekend was spent cooking. I made yogurt in my crockpot, homemade chicken stock, and tomato sauce (all for the first time). Since we were switching out the fridge, I couldn't go grocery shopping until Sunday morning, so it was late last night when I finished up and went to bed. The good news is that I don't have to make tomato sauce or broth again for a while since I made really big batches.

I really haven't been thinking about IF/TTC that much lately. I don't know without looking at my chart when my cycle started or what cycle day I'm on. I'm pretty sure that we have no chance until at least after my surgery, so I've pretty much put it out of my head except when I'm around pregnant women or things like that.

I haven't had any more heavy bleeding, and I think since it was so heavy, it actually caused my period to be lighter than usual.

Stressed

My grandmother went into the hospital on Saturday due to heart problems. Her heart was beating a little too fast and then it would stop for 3-6 seconds, which would make her black out, and then it would restart. She's in the ICU, but she seems to be doing ok today and may be released tomorrow or the day after. Please pray that she will continue to do well. D and I were in town and were able to visit her along with a few of my other relatives. We got in late and I'm very tired.

This morning after putting my ring back on from washing my hands, I realized that my diamond had fallen out of my ring and I haven't yet been able to find it. I have it insured but I just want to find my diamond. I'm probably going to have to get the setting completely redone since I have it less than 3 years and it's been loose before.

Yesterday was also CD 1, so I'm handling the stress even worse than usual. It's starting to bug me when I hear about people who have spotting and end up being pregnant because I start thinking that it's a possibility, but it's never true for me.

Finally CD 1...Cycle 21

Today is finally CD 1. I have bad cramps and am very tired, but I'm glad that that crazy 50 day cycle is over. I'll post later about the wedding we went to it was a lot of fun.

Technology breakdown

D's computer, our wireless router, our modem, and I all had a breakdown on Sunday evening. D's computer was his work computer so that is still with the IT dept. trying to fix it. He got a new laptop yesterday which I am borrowing today since my computer is both physically broken and incredibly slow. We had to buy a new wireless router since ours got fried somehow (the one we had was free so it wasn't as bad as if we had bought the original). Luckily the modem just got reset when the wireless blew out so we just had call our ISP to get the user name and password to reset. We also got 2 large TV that we bought from one of D's work friends for $350. We still don't have cable/satellite but we are getting satellite when my parents move to Qatar for my dad's work later this year.

I am going to visit my parents this weekend since a friend is having a bridal shower this Sunday in our hometown. My mom recently got a new computer so I'm going to get my dad to put my hard drive in her old computer and hopefully the performance will improve.

My cousin who was having premature labor at 32 weeks had her son at 35-36 weeks. He is doing well and didn't have to go to the NICU or special care nursery.

P.S. I need some prayers that the little girl that I nanny for will get into the Montes.sori school (for preschool) for the fall. She's on the waiting list and she really needs the Montes.sori style schooling enviroment. I think she will do so much better there than a traditional school environment and that will reduce my stress as well as her parents' stress.

The stress of all our technology breaking down at once plus normal period crazies was not a good combo. I'm feeling emotionally better but the cramps kicked in yesterday and now they are quite painful. Also my hypoglycemia has been bothering me a bit lately and I feel nauseated unless I eat something every hour or so.

CD 1...Cycle 20

Waking up at 4:15 in the morning and going to the bathroom to find bleeding was not the way I wanted to start Mother's Day.  The new cycle starting hit me hard than I thought it would since it was at least different from the early spotting I've had for most of the past year (except of course the break cycle).  I also feel bad having to tell D that it didn't work...again.  Maybe after my surgery (still planning on December...for financial reasons), there will be a chance.  However, I'm worried about how I'm going to handle it if I still don't get pregnant and we hit 2011.

Having problems waiting

I wish that I didn't have to wait until December for my surgery.  Since the only problem that was found in my b/w was the thyroid issue, I (self-diagnosing of course) think that there's a good chance that endo is what's causing my bleeding.  I don't have horrible cramps, but I do definitely have bad cramps at least one day each cycle.  

I'm also feeling like I'm stuck in the intellectual side of my relationship with God.  I say the Morning and Evening Prayers from the Magnificat everyday, but I have a hard time praying in my own words.  My mind knows about God, but my heart is scared to let go and have faith.  I'm still trying to figure out where my place is my parish is and I haven't met any church friends.  That combined with IF is making me feel lost.

Good Friday, CD 1...Cycle #19

It looks like today is the start of Cycle #19 (although it's hard to know what's really CD 1 with the crazy bleeding that I have start around 3DPO/just after Peak).  I'm getting frustrated again at the lack of progress we seem to be making.  I'll be doing the Symptom Checklist and Temperature Assessment for the T3 study this month.  Even if the T3 is an issue, I'm pretty sure that it's not what's causing my bleeding.  Since nothing else seems to be hormonely wrong with me, there has to be some sort of structural problem causing it, right?  My surgery won't be until December, which is still 8 months away.  If there is a problem, it might not even be fixed then depending on how serious it is.  I hate the fact that we are going to hit the two-year mark without know the cause of the bleeding (which has to be at least part of the the cause of the infertility).  

D and I had a pretty good time in Las Vegas.  It was kind of tiring though and D is not good about calling it a night around the friends we went with.  I was kind of hopeful when the bleeding/spotting stopped for almost a day, but it started right back up again.  D actually managed to win almost $200, so that was cool.  All the food we ate was great.  I think D had a good 27th birthday.

One of the hardest things to do is remember that my suffering is minor compared to Christ's and to many other people's.  The other thing I have to remember is that without the suffering of Good Friday, there's no joyful resurrection on Easter Sunday.  One day I will receive the joyous gift that God has prepared for me, but it may not be the gift that I hope it is.

CD 1...Cycle 18 (quick update)

I had just been spotting/very light bleeding until today, so I either had a longer or shorter LP than normal (13 days or 9 days as opposed to the 12 days it had been for the past few months).  So I'm counting today as CD 1. I'm getting cramps too, but they're not too bad yet.  Last chance for 2009 baby.

Saturday was CD 1

We were out of town this weekend and my computer is on the fritz (I'm using D's computer while he's at basketball).

I'm now on CD 3 of cycle #17. I should be starting my b/w for the hormone series on Wednesday. No real news otherwise.