Sunday, March 30, 2008

I feel icky

I haven't felt good all day. I've been nauseous, but I haven't actually thrown up. We went out last night and I had a few drinks (enough that I feel guilty and my temp was completely crazy high), but not enough to make me sick. I'm going to assume that I did o on Tues and start my progesterone tonight (5DPO). Technically I should have started at 3DPO, but I wasn't sure that it was really 3DPO. I really hope to feel better tomorrow, since I'll be back at work and I have a dentist appt.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

When did I o?

That's still the big question. After this morning's temperature, now advanced (FF detector) is giving me dotted crosshairs for CD 28 (Tuesday). I seduced D just in case. I don't know if I o-d Tuesday, Thursday, yesterday or not yet. Our timing should be ok for any of the possible o dates. I guess I'll find out soon. I don't know if I should be starting the progesterone tonight or waiting.

Friday, March 28, 2008

OPKs and ovary pain

I guess I haven't o-d yet, since I got a + OPK today. I have pain in the area of my right ovary. Hopefully this means that I will o soon and hopefully D will be in the mood tonight (we'll have to see about that...especially since he is working tomorrow).

Maybe I ovulated???

I might have o-d on CD 28 (Tuesday), but my temp has not gone up very much and it's only dotted crosshairs (Fertility Friend is unsure). Plus, if I change the detector from FAM, then no o is detected. This happened last month too. Of course, D was tired and not in the mood last night so no just in case. I'll try again tonight, but I'm not too hopeful. I need my temp to go up to at least the high 97s so I'll know I o'd and can start on my progesterone. I hate that my body must continually screw with me. I don't feel like I'm ever going to get pregnant. I have very little hope lately.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

CD 30 on clomid, o not confirmed

My temperature was a little lower this morning than yesterday, so I don't know yet if I o-d on CD 28 (Tuesday) or if I haven't o-d yet. It's very frustrating to be so late on clomid. I'm going to be attempting to seduce my husband again; hopefully he won't be too stressed out. Even my "normal" o day is late, and the delayed o really sucks. I really hope that 100 mg clomid will work better for me than 50 mg has

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Are you happy?

It's such a strange question. The TTC 6months+ girls were talking about it, and it made me think. I'm not officially infertile, but I feel like I am never going to get pregnant. We've only be trying 8 months/7 cycles, but the long cycles and irregular o have made timed intercourse even more frustrating. I'm happy that we have a house and good jobs (even though D is not as happy with his job right now). We have families that love us. D and I love each other, but the additional stress of TTC for the past 8 months and frustration at my body causes friction. I wish that I didn't need clomid and progesterone for a good LP. I wish that I could have a nice CD 14 (or so) o. Maybe 100 mg with help on that front. D wants a baby, but TTC hasn't affected him as least not in the same ways.

Our trying to conceive journey so far.

We have been TTC our first child since our wedding in July 2007. I've been off BC since May 2007, and we weren't TTC. I started charting in June 2007. I'm 27 and my husband will be 26 in 8 days.

I have long cycles and have never ovulated before CD 21. My first cycle charting (6/07) was 46 days long, it was my second month off BC. I didn't o until CD 36, which was the day of my bachelorette party, two days before the wedding. We had no chance that cycle, but we didn't really understand the timing just yet. My second cycle charting/TTC cycle #1 was better, it was only 32 days long and I o-d on CD 21. We had ok timing that cycle, but no luck. Cycle #2 was 40 days long and I o-d on CD 28. Our timing was off that cycle, so we had no chance. Cycle #3 was 32 days long and I o-d on CD 21. Our timing was good, but thankfully I didn't know until after FP started. Cycle #4 was also 32 days long with o on CD 21. Our timing was good, and I thought I was pregnant. I was wrong, obviously. Cycle #5 was not a good one. I was expecting to o around Christmas, but I didn't end up o-ing until CD 33. Our timing was ok, but it was very difficult to keep trying for the extra 10 days. D (my husband) gets to where he's not in the mood, especially after timed intercourse for more than a week. It ended up being a 45 day cycle, and I decided to call my ob/gyn.

When I showed my ob/gyn my charts and we talked about my late/irregular o, she put me on clomid. Cycle #6 was my first clomid 50 mg(and estrogen and progesterone) cycle. I o-d on CD 21 (my normal time...clomid didn't change it). Our timing was ok, but again BFN. My 7DPO b/w showed that my progesterone was 22 (good). The good thing about that cycle was that I had a 17 day LP and I didn't spot at all while I was on the progesterone.

This cycle is #7, and I was on 50 mg of clomid and the estrogen and progesterone again. I had CD 3 B/W to test my FSH. It was 7 (low...which is good). I had an u/s on CD 13 and my large follicle was 15 (not ready to ovulate yet). I think that I finally o-d yesterday on CD 28, so I'm in the 2ww. Our timing was probably good, but after the last 8 months...I'm not too hopeful.

D has not gotten an SA done, even though my dr wrote him an order for it. He says he doesn't have time.

If I'm not pregnant this cycle, I'll be moving up to 100 mg clomid with the estrogen and progesterone.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

I don't think I can do this anymore

I don't think that I can keep taking meds and get bloodwork done when my husband won't even have sex with me when I'm probably about to ovulate.  It not that he doesn't want to have a baby, but he is just too stressed out about work and other stuff to be able to get into it. I don't know if I should even keep temping.  I don't know if I can stop "trying" but I am going to try to stop trying so hard that I'm angry and stressed (although we won't be trying to avoid either).  I guess I need to get to a place where I'm able to relax more and stress less.  It will be better for both of us and our marriage if I can do that.  If I keep temping, it will be so that I have charts in case we get to the the point were my husband thinks that we need outside help.  It's so frustrating to have to waiting for it to be our turn, especially because I am a nanny for a 6 month old and I just want one of my own.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Small Follices :(

I had an ultrasound yesterday on CD 13 to check my follicles for my second round of clomid.  My largest was only 15 mm (20 mm or larger is what my dr was hoping for and would mean ovulation should be soon).  Next month will be 100 mg of clomid.  My dr. said that there was miscommuncation and that she didn't know that my 7 DPO wasn't until CD 28.  I would have been on 100 mg this cycle if she had known.  Hopefully either this cycle or the next will be successful, because I'm going to take a break from meds if they aren't.  My husband is not ready to move onto IUI or anything.

Friday, March 7, 2008

My husband won't get an SA

 I got my dr to write a lab order for an SA (semen analysis), but my husband won't go and get it done.  He said that he won't get it done until next year.  He may have been kidding but I'm not sure.  He's not ready to do anything beyond me on meds (IUI, etc).  I don't think that I will do any more meds if he won't go get the SA done soon. I have gone to get bloodwork done and two u/s but he won't do anything.  I don't know what to do.