Cortisol, etc.

I got my results from the cortisol draw (11.4 at 9am), and Dr. H wants me to do the low-dose cortisone since it was on the low side of normal and due to the my answers to the adrenal questionnaire.  I got the letter late today, so I'll be talking to the PPVI nurses tomorrow.  D and I also have been on the 21-day antibiotic regimen again.  The worst part is the horrible taste in my mouth that develops after I take the pill.

To Misfit, I don't think that any sort of hormonal intervention would work at this point in my cycle, plus I don't want to use up any time on hormonal support before my surgery when it's less likely to result in a pregnancy (assuming of course that once I'm cleaned out I'll actually be able to get pregnant).  It is my first full cycle after my lap so maybe that's why ovulation is delayed.  I wouldn't have thought that it would be holiday stress since the cycle didn't even start until after Christmas.   I guess I should assume that next cycle will be a break cycle unless I ovulate this week sometime or have late ovulation that cycle and don't ovulate until after the surgery.  I would be nice to be pre-peak and close to ovulation at the time of my surgery so I could do the u/s series.  I'd like to get the series done but if it doesn't happen this time, it won't happen in Omaha.  I wish I could get it done locally.

I'm feeling a bit down right now.  My grandma feel again and broke a rib.  She has problems with nerve transmission and it's really easy for her to fall down due to that.  I'm tired of waiting for my surgery since I was hoping everything would be fixed last month.  It's been 18 months since I found out about Creighton charting and over a year since I received my letter from Dr. H saying that I'd need to have the surgery done and that he suspected endometriosis.  

P+2

It doesn't look like I o'd until CD 23, which was Sunday. We decided to use this cycle. I didn't stress about which days we used and let D decide the days. It was so much so much better in every way. We ended using P-2 and P. I'm not really expecting to get pregnant, but it would be nice if I didn't have any bleeding before starting my period.

It was good to see our friends and D's family this weekend, even though it was for a sad occasion. We saw some friends that we hadn't see in at least six months and got to spend time with D's best friend and his wife. The mass was really well done and touching.

Sad trip

Tomorrow is the funeral for my friend's brother. It's actually going to be the first funeral I've gone to. Please continue to keep his family in your prayers.

Sad

Yesterday when D was heading over to our friends' house who have an almost 2 year old, he said "and I'm going to pretend to be a daddy".  He said it casually, but it reminds me how hard this is for him too.

I've been feeling pretty hopeless about the possibility of pregnancy lately.  I also know that D isn't going to be ready to start looking into adoption until we've tried awhile after my surgery.  Also, we've got a couple years before it's going to be financially feasible, but if I'm not pregnant by this time next year I'm going to want to start looking into it.

Good news and bad news

The good news is that I most likely oed on CD 17, which was Monday. The bad news is that our timing sucked. We only had sex on Friday, O-3. Next cycle is our break cycle. I'm very sad and frustrated. I didn't sleep well and D didn't come home until 11 from the bar and I was upset with him. I don't feel well and I won't be able to take a nap because the middle school band practices right outside my bedroom window. D is so stressed out about work and stuff that he's on a hair trigger. Not a good day for me today.

Cycle #13 will be a break cycle

When you start the Creighton Model, you are supposed to abstain the first full cycle if you are infertile. That cycle is of course the one with my birthday and would have a EDD right before our anniversary. The timing and taking a break that I wasn't planning makes me sad. D wants to do the system right, so we'll be taking off cycle #13. Cycle #14 should start near the end of October, so unless we have a miracle this month we'll be at 16 months of trying before we have a chance again. I wish that we had started learning Creighton before the wedding.

Second FP?

I think that Provera may have caused a second FP starting yesterday. How exciting. Now I probably have to wait 3 more weeks to o. My body is really driving me crazy, and I don't know how much longer I can deal with my body being screwed up. I'm so frustrated and sad right now.

Sad

I just can't get out of the sadness. Ever since I started bleeding the day I o'd, I've felt sad and a little scared. It really bothers me and makes me a little depressed that there are no answers as to why I'm bleeding. I'm supposed to start Provera, but I'm really paranoid that somehow the beta was too early and that if I end up taking it, I'll find out I'm actually pregnant. To avoid that possibility, I'm going to wait until Saturday and test then. If it's negative then, I'll start the Provera. I really hope that next cycle doesn't involve crazy bleeding; I can't handle it happening again. I need there to be a chance that this could work sometime soon. I really want a baby before my 29th birthday in October next year, so we have about 6 more months for that to happen.