P+8 and other stuff

This is the first time in a few months (and only three or four times in the last year) where (as of yet) I have gotten to O/P+8 without spotting/bleeding. Dr. Hilger put D and I on a 3 week antibiotics course which we start on P+1. I can't be sure, but it would be nice if it was stopping whatever is causing the crazy bleeding.

The antibiotics give me a stomachache and they give me a bad taste in my mouth, but it's worth it if it moves us closer to conceiving.

D and I went to NJ for his cousin's wedding last weekend. It was fun and we got to see all his family who we only see about twice a year. We are actually going to send a letter to his grandma, and ask her to pray for us with regard to infertility.

S (the 3-year-old girl I nanny for) punch me in the face today. I'm hoping that her parents can deal with her in a way that will reduce that kind of behavior.

Book?

I've been thinking for a while that there aren't any books that I've found that are for infertile Catholics who want to follow the Church's teaching. Most of the books that I've seen about IF focus on ART, and as far as I know even the Christian one's aren't written from a Catholic perspective. I kind feel like maybe I should write (or be part of writing) "A Catholic Couple's Guide to Infertility". I'm not sure how realistic it is, but I've been thinking about it ever since I found AYWH's blog. I'm not a fabulous writer, but like I said this has been in my heart for about 6 months now. Thoughts? Anyone interested in helping write or anything if this actually happens?

Possibly going to be a split Peak?

I didn't start having Peak-type (10C/KLx1) mucus until Thursday. Friday I had 10KLx3, but yesterday was 6C. I don't think that I've oed yet, especially taking my temps into consideration. Also, I usually have like more than 1 1/2 days of Peak type mucus, so I really hope that it'll come back soon. We did use yesterday, but I'm not sure how much that will matter.

Prayers for my cousin and her baby

My cousin is 32 weeks pregnant and at her dr. appt today, she found out that she is 70% and 3 cm dilated.  She is on bedrest for a couple weeks, and they gave her steriod shots to improve the baby's lung development.  I live halfway across the country so I can't go visit her and help out.  Please keep her and her family (she also has a three-year old girl) in your thoughts and prayers.  

Thyroid study, waiting to o and other stuff

I did my temps and pulses last week for the Thyroid Study. My ave. temp was about 98.1 (pre-Peak), but my pulse was almost always between 80-90. I definitely have a family history of thyroid issues on my dad's side of the family (grandmother, great-aunt, aunt, and cousin all have diagnosed issues).

I'm still just charting yellow stickers (I'm using them both pre- and post-peak now) with 6C or 8C, so I'm guessing I'm not going to o on CD 16 like last month. Oh well, I doubt that the physical conditions in my uterus are such that pregnancy is probable before my surgery.

D and I are trying to decide if November or December will be better for the surgery, but he has to think about it some more. D probably won't be able to come up to Omaha with me, but either my mom or my middle brother, M/BP, will try to come with me.

M/BP, the brother who is a Brother (in the monk/religious vow sense), is going to be going to seminary this fall. The other Brother recently finished seminary and once their order grows large enough he will be ordained.

I've got a bit of a stuffy nose, which is of course at a horrible time, being relatively close to and before ovulation. I know that "normal/fertile" people get pregnant after taking Sudafed, but we are getting close to two years of trying and I want to maximize our chances.

D and I have a bit of traveling coming up soon. His cousin gets married in about 10 days in NJ. His best friend gets married in late June in St. Louis. We are also going to visit my dad's side of the family in the Pacific Northwest in August. We are only flying to the first wedding; the rest of the trips will be by car.

Having problems waiting

I wish that I didn't have to wait until December for my surgery.  Since the only problem that was found in my b/w was the thyroid issue, I (self-diagnosing of course) think that there's a good chance that endo is what's causing my bleeding.  I don't have horrible cramps, but I do definitely have bad cramps at least one day each cycle.  

I'm also feeling like I'm stuck in the intellectual side of my relationship with God.  I say the Morning and Evening Prayers from the Magnificat everyday, but I have a hard time praying in my own words.  My mind knows about God, but my heart is scared to let go and have faith.  I'm still trying to figure out where my place is my parish is and I haven't met any church friends.  That combined with IF is making me feel lost.

Good Friday, CD 1...Cycle #19

It looks like today is the start of Cycle #19 (although it's hard to know what's really CD 1 with the crazy bleeding that I have start around 3DPO/just after Peak).  I'm getting frustrated again at the lack of progress we seem to be making.  I'll be doing the Symptom Checklist and Temperature Assessment for the T3 study this month.  Even if the T3 is an issue, I'm pretty sure that it's not what's causing my bleeding.  Since nothing else seems to be hormonely wrong with me, there has to be some sort of structural problem causing it, right?  My surgery won't be until December, which is still 8 months away.  If there is a problem, it might not even be fixed then depending on how serious it is.  I hate the fact that we are going to hit the two-year mark without know the cause of the bleeding (which has to be at least part of the the cause of the infertility).  

D and I had a pretty good time in Las Vegas.  It was kind of tiring though and D is not good about calling it a night around the friends we went with.  I was kind of hopeful when the bleeding/spotting stopped for almost a day, but it started right back up again.  D actually managed to win almost $200, so that was cool.  All the food we ate was great.  I think D had a good 27th birthday.

One of the hardest things to do is remember that my suffering is minor compared to Christ's and to many other people's.  The other thing I have to remember is that without the suffering of Good Friday, there's no joyful resurrection on Easter Sunday.  One day I will receive the joyous gift that God has prepared for me, but it may not be the gift that I hope it is.