Finally CD 1...Cycle 21

Today is finally CD 1. I have bad cramps and am very tired, but I'm glad that that crazy 50 day cycle is over. I'll post later about the wedding we went to it was a lot of fun.

SA results

D's SA results were good, so the issue isn't MFI. The experience was not so good, but I'm not getting into details. At least it's done.

I'm still just spotting/light bleeding. I just want to start a new cycle. I'm on CD 43 without a confirmed ovulation.

We are going to STL for his best friend's wedding next week. I'm looking for to it a lot, especially since one of my brothers will be there and I haven't seen him since November. We'll be there from Wednesday to Sunday. My youngest brother is stopping (with a couple friends) by Sunday night on his way back from working at a church camp in GA.

Nope

A couple people suggested that I test in case I managed to ovulate and get pregnant, but nope...it was a BFN. Still just spotting really with spurts of light bleeding.

Spotting

I detest spotting, especially since I've dealt with it for alot of the past year. I'm currently still just lightly spotting and weirdly enough my temp is going up. I just want my body to decide if it's started a new cycle or not and get to my real period. I put in a new cycle on FF, but I'm not sure if it's true

Reset

I'm bleeding, but I'm happy about it. The way I see it there are three possibilities for what happen this cycle and none of them are great so I'd rather reset and have a fresh start.

Possibility 1: This cycle was annovulatory and I'm getting my period now. This would actually be the first annovulatory cycle that I've had. 38 days and my period starting on its own is not too bad for an annovualtory cycle.

Possibility 2: I ovulated on CD 24 or 25, but it was a poor ovulation and hard to detect since I had fertile CM afterwards. I would have a 12 or 13 day LP.

Possibility 3: This isn't really a new cycle, but spotting/bleeding since my cycle started so long ago. I'll bleed for a couple days and ovulation will happen pretty soon. This has happen to me twice already.

I'll know if it's possibility 3 relatively soon, but I won't be able to figure out between possibility 1 and 2. Hopefully next cycle won't be as crazy.

Free blog background or header

Does anyone want me to make them a free blog background or header? I'm not a graphic designer or anything, but I'd be willing to make a couple backgrounds and/or headers. I just started using a free Ph.oto.shop-like program. You'd need to give me some ideas on what you want (colors, themes, pictures). I'll make them for the first three people who request it. Comment with your email and I'll send you my email address.

Fantabulously Frugal giveaway

Fantabulously Frugal is having a Big GiveAway. IF you decide to enter, Please Put in that Carolyn From Waiting for Baby Blondie refered you. Thanks.

Prayer

This is the prayer that I'm trying to pray for myself and all you girls out there:

Lord, help me (us) to prepare for the path you have planned for me (us).

As you can see from my ticker, Fertilty Friend now agrees that instead of being 8DPO, I haven't ovulated yet. It's CD32 and I'm having 8C (not normal amounts for post-peak), but I haven't had another round of 10C/KL (it'll be round 3 this cycle...triple peak!!!). That means that I'm probably not going to o in the next couple days (assuming that I do this cycle), and I'll most likely have my longest cycle since TTC (the record so far is 48 days with o on CD 36).

August 3

August 3 is when I'm supposed to call to get my surgery scheduled for one of the first 3 weeks in December. I'm probably not going to be able to get the u/s series done then because of the amount of time I'd need to take off.

Although the ticker says 7DPO (which means our timing wasn't quite as bad as I thought since we used O-2), my waking temps are in the low 97 the past couple days and I don't know that I've actually ovulated. In addition to the low temps, I seem to be going back to more fertile CM and I'm on CD 31 (lovely).

Sad

Yesterday when D was heading over to our friends' house who have an almost 2 year old, he said "and I'm going to pretend to be a daddy".  He said it casually, but it reminds me how hard this is for him too.

I've been feeling pretty hopeless about the possibility of pregnancy lately.  I also know that D isn't going to be ready to start looking into adoption until we've tried awhile after my surgery.  Also, we've got a couple years before it's going to be financially feasible, but if I'm not pregnant by this time next year I'm going to want to start looking into it.

Late o, bad timing

As of now, it looks like I might have ovulated Wednesday (CD 25) and had my peak day yesterday.  However our timing was horrible, we only used Sunday.  It's also possible that I haven't yet/won't ovulate since my temps are relatively low for post-Peak.  This cycle has been funky (back to 10+ days of period/spotting and split/double peak and I'm ready to just have a fresh start.  I'm going to call PPVI to schedule my surgery soon (probably Monday).

Waiting for Peak

I'm pretty sure that Wednesday was not really my peak day. I had 8CAD for Thursday through Saturday, but I had 10C/KL yesterday (which we used just in case). Also, my temps are pretty low for if I've actually oed. So now I must wait to see if I have a temp jump or more peak type mucus or what's going on. Luckily I'm not on any medication that's cycle based (just the T3 which I'm on throughout). Once I confirm my peak/o, I'm going to call to get my surgery scheduled.

Also, D is finally ready to have an SA, so hopefully we can get that done in the next few weeks. We were talking about something IF related and he asked if we knew that I was the one with issues. I told him that I'm pretty sure that I am part of the IF, but until he had a SA, we couldn't rule out him having issues.