Tuesday, August 26, 2008

#100...Crazy dream and other stuff

I'm mostly over my cold as of yesterday. When I was sickest on Sunday, FP had slowed back to spotting, but yesterday I felt better and FP and the cramps kicked into full gear. I'm also pretty sure that I have shingles, because I get a rash when I get sick and it's always in the same place on my left hip.

So my crazy dream was that my brother's girlfriend was pregnant. The dream probably has something to do with the fact that two of my cousin's wives on one side and one of my cousins (she's 19 and unmarried) are all pregnant right now, and I'm not sure that we can actually get pregnant without medical intervention, and that intervention is not happening any time soon (the beginning of next year is the earliest it could happen). I think D understands that there is probably something wrong with at least one of us (quite possibly both since my body is crazy and won't stop bleeding). He admitted the possibility that there might be something wrong on his end, since so far all of my tests are ok.

When I talked about the problems earlier this week with D, it seems to be better. D is being a bit weird, but I think everything is ok. He's decided he likes sleeping on the couch, but he's ok with me sleep there with him. I can't stay the whole night since I get uncomfortable, but it's better than sleeping alone the whole night in the queen bed.

A couple of girls on the nest 6+ board just found out that they are pregnant. I'm very happy for them, but the fact that they all did ART (2 IUIs and 1 IVF) makes me think that it won't happen for us naturally. Yes, this is only cycle #12, but we are getting to month 14. Also, it seems pretty clear to me that there are some problems with me since I've bleed from a couple days after o until FP for the past three cycles. I really hope that this cycle is at least normal enough that I won't start bleeding before FP; that's all I'm asking for right now. I would love a BFP, but I would be happy with a normal cycle where I o before CD 21 and don't bleed before FP.

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