P+1?

I'm pretty sure today is O+1/P+1 (CD 18 is not too bad for me).  Yesterday I had a temp dip and 10KL (I didn't have as much CM as usual though), and today was a higher temp and 8C.  We used Monday, but yesterday D was frustrated and tired of sex on a schedule.  I completely understand the sentiment; we are "forcing" ourselves during fertile times and doing that for two years has gotten old.  I'm going to work on surrending it since I have a habit of being the pursuer instead of letting D pursue.  

Once I've confirmed my peak day, I'm planning to call to try to get my surgery scheduled (still planning on Dec.).  I'm hoping that I'll have another month without the crazy spotting; that would be such an improvement.

Green stickers (AKA My Crazy Chart)

I was looking today at my stickers for my Creighton Chart to check if I needed more yellow stickers (yes I do). I also learned that I still have FIVE sheets of plain green stickers and I've only used 5 plain green stickers since September.

Here's a count of what I've used since September:

Red: 134

Green: 5 (as I already mentioned)

Green Baby: 5

White Baby: 75 (some of those are before I started with yellow stickers so it's higher than it should "really" be)

Yellow: 25 (since December)

Yellow Baby: 10 (since December)

The good(ish) news is that I finally stopped spotting after CD 12. Now I just have to wait for 10C/KL.

I hope everyone has a relaxing Memorial Day, and don't forget to keep those who have given their lives for our country and their families in your prayers.

Cycle update etc.

I'm on CD 11 and I'm still spotting which is crappy.  I've been feeling my ovaries more this cycle, but I'm not sure why.  They actually feel a bit like they did on clomid where pressure is uncomfortable.  I'm hoping the spotting will finish up so that I can actually o at a decent time.  I'm going to be starting the T3 soon (whopee on checking pulse and temps 3x a day).

I don't know if it's the fact that 2 years is getting close or D's best friend's wedding coming up soon (or some crazy hormonalness) but I've been feeling sad about IF this cycle than I had in a while.  I did however find out at the bridal shower (same wedding) that an acquaintance from my church in my hometown is now dealing with secondary IF after dealing with primary IF.  We commiserated about the fact that there was a woman there who was pregnant with her 10th child; how it's great for her but it's still hard to see when you have been waiting for the same blessing for a few years.  I'm trying to bear my cross and surrender to God's will, but right now I'm having a tough time. 

 

I've done a little writing (like 2 pages or so) on the book, but I'm going to try to do some more over the weekend now that I have a more functional computer.  I'm not sure if I'm ever going to be able to make it a true book or ever get it sold but I feel that I need to try to get it down on paper at least.  I may at some point make a private blog for it.

Technology breakdown

D's computer, our wireless router, our modem, and I all had a breakdown on Sunday evening. D's computer was his work computer so that is still with the IT dept. trying to fix it. He got a new laptop yesterday which I am borrowing today since my computer is both physically broken and incredibly slow. We had to buy a new wireless router since ours got fried somehow (the one we had was free so it wasn't as bad as if we had bought the original). Luckily the modem just got reset when the wireless blew out so we just had call our ISP to get the user name and password to reset. We also got 2 large TV that we bought from one of D's work friends for $350. We still don't have cable/satellite but we are getting satellite when my parents move to Qatar for my dad's work later this year.

I am going to visit my parents this weekend since a friend is having a bridal shower this Sunday in our hometown. My mom recently got a new computer so I'm going to get my dad to put my hard drive in her old computer and hopefully the performance will improve.

My cousin who was having premature labor at 32 weeks had her son at 35-36 weeks. He is doing well and didn't have to go to the NICU or special care nursery.

P.S. I need some prayers that the little girl that I nanny for will get into the Montes.sori school (for preschool) for the fall. She's on the waiting list and she really needs the Montes.sori style schooling enviroment. I think she will do so much better there than a traditional school environment and that will reduce my stress as well as her parents' stress.

The stress of all our technology breaking down at once plus normal period crazies was not a good combo. I'm feeling emotionally better but the cramps kicked in yesterday and now they are quite painful. Also my hypoglycemia has been bothering me a bit lately and I feel nauseated unless I eat something every hour or so.

CD 1...Cycle 20

Waking up at 4:15 in the morning and going to the bathroom to find bleeding was not the way I wanted to start Mother's Day.  The new cycle starting hit me hard than I thought it would since it was at least different from the early spotting I've had for most of the past year (except of course the break cycle).  I also feel bad having to tell D that it didn't work...again.  Maybe after my surgery (still planning on December...for financial reasons), there will be a chance.  However, I'm worried about how I'm going to handle it if I still don't get pregnant and we hit 2011.

P+11 and Thryoid Study

I'm currently at P+11 right now without any spotting, but I feel like I'm about to spot/start a new cycle. D keeps asking me if I'm going to test soon, but I'm not going to unless I get to P+14 (Tuesday) without spotting.

I can almost guarantee that I'm not going to qualify for the Thyriod Dysfunction Study. My pre-peak average was 98.1 or 98.2 and post-peak it was 98.7 most days. I'm a little surprised that my temps were as high as they were. I'm sending the paperwork back today.