Saturday, September 6, 2008

It's funny

I was thinking back to last September, and how anxious I was to have a baby and how upset I was about our timing that month. I really wanted a June baby, since I was teaching then. It actually seems that I get less sad when I get FP and crying than I did in those first couple months. I think part of it is that I've resigned myself to the fact that there's probably a problem. Even during the Clomid cycles, I had a bit more hope. The last couple ones have been pretty obviously doomed right after ovulation because of the spotting/bleeding.

I do hope that charting with the Creighton Model will help and that Dr. Hilger's will have some suggestions on what might be wrong and how to go forward. I won't be able to send in my chart until mid-November, so it'll be probably December before we might have answers. December will be 17 months, cycle 15.

I feel disappointed about not being pregnant, but the way it hurt is less acute but more widespread. I guess that I'm lucky that we got the stressful timed sex out of the way in the earlier cycles and are able to be more relaxed during now. I'm waiting to o right now; it's CD 15 so I should o by next Friday hopefully.

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