Not getting any better

My grandmother's condition has worsened. I still can't find my diamond (I'm going to have to go fill a claim later today or tomorrow). It's pouring so hard that I'm worried that my house might flood (it almost flooded last year, we do have flood insurance). The grandfather of kids that I nanny for is having a major surgery, which I believe is related to his prostate cancer. I'm so upset right now, and I'm not sure if I can handle anything else. I need some prayers.

Stressed

My grandmother went into the hospital on Saturday due to heart problems. Her heart was beating a little too fast and then it would stop for 3-6 seconds, which would make her black out, and then it would restart. She's in the ICU, but she seems to be doing ok today and may be released tomorrow or the day after. Please pray that she will continue to do well. D and I were in town and were able to visit her along with a few of my other relatives. We got in late and I'm very tired.

This morning after putting my ring back on from washing my hands, I realized that my diamond had fallen out of my ring and I haven't yet been able to find it. I have it insured but I just want to find my diamond. I'm probably going to have to get the setting completely redone since I have it less than 3 years and it's been loose before.

Yesterday was also CD 1, so I'm handling the stress even worse than usual. It's starting to bug me when I hear about people who have spotting and end up being pregnant because I start thinking that it's a possibility, but it's never true for me.

Jenna's Journey Blog Giveaway

Jenna's Journey is giving away a devotional book on infertility (Christian, but not specifically Catholic...just an FYI). Go check it out.

Same outcome as usual (cycle update)

I got to P+7 , but I started spotting/bleeding today. I hate have to deal with it over and over again for 2 or more weeks straight. I'm so glad that I'll be calling in 2 weeks to schedule my surgery. I really want to know what's causing my crazy bleeding since low progesterone seems to have been ruled out.

Sometimes I feel like a fraud

When I take the kids that I nanny for (boy almost 2 and girl almost 4) places, people assume that they are my children unless I tell them otherwise. It often not worth mentioning unless it's people we or I see regularly. Those times when it's not worth mention, I feel like I'm lying to people when they ask questions about the kids, like how old they are, and assume I'm their mom. After the tire incident Saturday, I had to take the little boy with me to buy a new tire while the girl was at VBS. The tire guy asked how old he was and told me about his 2-year-old. When I was picking the little girl up from VBS, I was think about how I'm the hidden infertile, who everyone would assume was a mom and how everyone else there (even the grandparents) had had children (or at least adopted). It's weird being an infertile who takes care of children all day.

Congratulations to Sew, who if you don't know, recently found out that she's finally pregnant!

Last Saturday

I just remember that I didn't tell you about last Saturday night while we were out with friends to see a comic. D and a friend went out after D got off work Saturday, and then they picked me up to go to dinner. At dinner, I caused serious injury to my toenail by hitting it with the bathroom door. After I got back to the table, D manage to step on it.

We then got in my car (D drove) to head over to see the comic. There was a stopped train that caused us to detour, and as D was going back out to the street we need to be on, he hit a curb and popped my front driver's side tire. We pulled over and they put on the spare; however, the spare was flat. I had to drive superslow the mile to get to where we were going. Obviously, at this point, I'm not in a good mood. We sit down with our friends and some of their friends to wait until it was time for the show, and one of the women we were with was pregnant (visibly so she was probably about 6 months along). It was just one of those things that I didn't really want to have to deal with during an already crappy evening.

Yesterday, however, was a good day for the most part, except for me stressing myself out about stuff to get done.

2 year anniversary

1. Where/how did you meet: We meet at a mutual friend from church's pool party

2. How long have you known each other: since summer of 2001

3. How long after you met did you start dating: it was almost 3 1/2 years (we started dating in December 2004)

4. How long did you date before you were engaged: 1 1/2 years

5. How long was your engagement: almost 11 months

6. How long have you been married: 2 years

7. What is your anniversary: July 14

8. How many people came to your wedding reception: about 160 people

9. What kind of cake did you serve: white cake with buttercream frosting and raspberry filling in some of the layers

10. Where was your wedding: St. Anthony of Padua, The Wood.lands, TX

11. What did you serve for your meal: D and I had sea bass with whatever else was served, but I don't remember what it was (it was very good, I do remember that)

12. How many people were there in your bridal party: 8 (four on each side)

13. Are you still friends with them all: yes, most were family and we just went to the best man's wedding

14. Did you or your spouse cry during the ceremony: I teared up a little while walking down the aisle

15. Most special moment of your wedding day: walking down the aisle and seeing D

16. Any funny moments: I wasn't trying to smush cake on D, but the piece I tried to feed him was too big and it was funny seeing him try to eat it

17. Any big disasters: it actually worked out ok, but our DJ didn't show up, the resort called the company which left the Hous.ton Bri.dal Show to come and do the music, if people didn't know the story they didn't even know it was an issue

18. Where did you go on your honeymoon: Sandals Och.o Ri.os Jamai.ca

19. How long where you gone: we left Sunday and returned Saturday

20. If you were to do your wedding over, what would you change: try to relax and enjoy the planning more...also make sure the exit was better planned, neither set of parents knew that we were leaving so they missed it

21. What side of the bed do you sleep on: on the right if you are facing the bed

22. What size is your bed: Queen

23. Greatest strength as a couple: having a good sense of humor

24. Greatest challenge as a couple: dealing with IF and all the frustrations that come with it

25. Who literally pays the bills: He does

26. What is your song: now I'd say it's Lost in This Moment by Big and Rich...it came out just before our wedding

27. What did you dance your first dance to: Amazed by Lonestar

28. Describe your wedding dress: it was a princess style dress with a beaded bodice, sheer cap sleeves, a very full tulle skirt and a long train

29. What kind of flowers did you have at your wedding: D and I had white roses and blue hydrangeas, MOH and BM had lavendar roses and blue hydrangeas, and the rest of the bridesmaids and groomsmen had lavendar roses

30. Are your wedding bands engraved? No.

Today is also D's grandparents' anniversary (and this wasn't done intentionally but is very cool), and the feast day of Blessed Kateri Tekakwitha

Cycle Update

I'm on CD 15, and I had a couple days of 10C/KL or 10KL (earlier than ever), but now I'm having just 8C. My temp is relatively low so I don't think that I actually ovulated. If I did ovulate, I ovulated on CD 13, the earliest since I started charting in June 2007. I don't know if I'm going to have a split or double peak. I've had either a split or double peak for the last few cycles, which is getting really annoying. I just want my body to work correctly. I'm ready to have my surgery to see if my cycles normalize then.

D and my anniversary is tomorrow.

D's BF's Wedding, etc.

I'm on day 8, and I (as of know) seem to have finished spotting yesterday. That's definitely an improvement for me. It would be nice if this coming weekend (or by our anniversary next Tuesday), I had fertile CM but I'm not going to hold my breath since my body likes to throw curveballs. I'm finally at my maintance dose for T3 and only have to do temps and pulses once a week instead of every day.

I hope everyone had a great July 4. We had a very low key day and just hung out at home.

D's best friend's wedding was a lot of fun, but there was a lot of baby/pregnancy talk. They are some of the later people to get married and they went to a strong Catholic college so most married people had one or more kids. One of the bridesmaids was about 8 months pregnant. I did get to see my IRL IF friend who is starting to look into adoption for her second child (tried 4 years for first and have been trying 4 years for second). I also got to see my brother who's a religious, and he and some friends prayed with me about IF.