CD 1...Cycle 27

Yesterday was CD 1, after a tiny bit of pink on Sunday night.  I had a 27 day cycle, with ovulation on CD 16, but only a 11 day LP.  I'm hope that PPVI will call soon after the first of the year with the plan for probable antibiotics,  possible hydrocort (I haven't heard anything about my cortisol level...Misfit, it was just a 9am blood draw), and any other possible treatment for my uterine inflammation.  I just want to have everything in place (and hopefully at therapeutic levels) by the time my cycle after surgery starts.

My bbs hurt something serious.  I've only had pain in them for the past three or four cycles.  My incisions from surgery are doing fine.  I'm still waiting for the redness and crustiness from the allergic reaction around my belly button incision to fully heal, but the actual incision looks pretty good.

We may use days of fertility depending on how we feel, but I don't see full on Trying until after my surgery.

We had a good Christmas.  My brother and I made a whole lot of food for just 3 people, but it was really good and I have had to cook since we have so many leftovers.  I got an ice cream maker attachment for my stand blender and a mini food processor (so I don't have use and clean my big one for small amounts), and both sets of parents sent some money (which will be a big help with the whole second out-of-town surgery in three months thing).  We are going to our hometown for New Year's, which will be fun.

Merry Christmas

My youngest brother K, who is currently a nomad since my parents moved out of the country and he's in college, is visiting us for Christmas.  We didn't travel to see D's parents (who we saw last weekend) since D had to work today and has to work Saturday.  K is helping me bake for Christmas dinner since he's a wonderful cook.

My advent secret prayer buddy was Life in Mazes (her blog is private).  My intentions for her were that she and her husband would be able to find peace and hope even while grieving the EDD of Nicky and that they would be able to feel joy and hope in their continue efforts towards TTC and adoption.  I asked for the intercession of St. Nicolas, LIM's babies in heaven Nicky and Sam.

She was also my secret prayer buddy and sent me a prayer box charm and Mary and Jesus visor clip, both of which I love.  I've got the box on my key chain right now and the visor clip is on the visor (obviously!).  She also sent me a lovely letter and a Christmas card photo of her and J.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas celebrating the birth of the Lord with their loved ones.

Break cycle

D caught the cold I had before my surgery, and I'm pretty sure I'm P+2 today. We didn't use any days of fertility since he was sick. I had serious ovary pain on Wednesday, which I'm pretty sure was peak day. I'm pretty bloated still. We are going to a wedding this weekend and I was trying on dresses, and D commented on how bloated I am and how I look pregnant in one of the dress. I'm not wearing that one, obviously since I don't want to look pregnant if I don't actually get to be pregnant. Thankfully we don't have any more weddings that I know of until about 2.5 months after my next surgery.

I'm not too concerned about a break cycle now since it's unlikely that anything will happen before I get the endo removed and the uterine inflammation treated. I have pretty much moved on to not have a chance of having a child before 2011 since we wouldn't really have a chance until my April cycle. I'm hoping that Dr. H will have some results of the cortisol b/w and the cultures from the surgery by the first of the year. I'll hopefully have some treatment started by the time my next surgery happens.

My mom is coming from Qatar for my surgery (which was moved to March 8), and she has been buying all the plane tickets and get the hotel reserved and everything. D is staying in Omaha until Friday, and my mom is flying back with me and then staying at our house through the weekend since D will be working.

Article on Chastity and Waiting

Life in Mazes shared this article with me, and I thought I'd pass it along.

I'm still doing ok after my surgery. I'm feeling pretty good except I have a rash by my incision (don't worry...I already checked with Dr. H's office and they said to just use hydrocortizone ointment on it). I went back to work yesterday. I'm trying to minimize how much I carry W, the 2 year old I take care of. I think I overdid it a bit yesterday; I got pretty tired. I think the spotting finally stopped yesterday (the good news it was red and not brown!). I've had 10YL for the last couple days, but we haven't used any days yet, maybe tonight.

I've been talking to my mom to make plans for her to come for my next surgery.

Surgery

I'm doing ok. The pain isn't too bad. I've got just a bit of shoulder pain and of course abdominal pain, but the tylenol is keeping it manageable. I'm mostly over my cold, but I've still got a bit of sinus junk. When I cough or laugh, it hurts a little bit.

Ok, so the results of the surgery: I have endometrosis. I have lots of little spots on both ovaries, and some on my pelvic wall. I don't have endometrosis on my bowel, bladder or any of the other organs. Even though they were small amounts, Dr. H didn't remove them since they were lots of different spots. I would have gotten lots of adhesions most likely. I've also got signs of inflammation in my uterus. I have a cyst on one of my tubes which is weighting it down away from my ovary. My tubes look clear and the pressure was good. I've got my laparotomy scheduled for March 16, and hopefully after that, I'll be endo-free for a while, and have a possiblity of conceiving. Dr. H also wants D to get another SA done since the last one was just informal (I'm not too worried since D's last one was good). I'm getting my cortisol tested tomorrow morning. Dr. H said that after my lapartomy and if D's SA is good, we should have pretty good chances. Since my hormone levels were well above normal, Dr. H feels like they are not an issue for me.

D is taking very good care of me. He's gotten my food, helps me out of bed and has me hold onto him when we are walking outside because of the slipperiness.

When we were flying up here on Monday, we had to get on a earlier flight, otherwise would have completely missed on connection which would have left before the original flight even arrived. The weather here in Omaha has been pretty bad. It was snowing when we got in on Monday. A blizzard came in on Tuesday and it took us about an hour to get to the hospital for all the pre-op stuff. We got to the hospital yesterday with about an hour before we needed to get there. The snow stopped but it's really cold.

T-1

Tomorrow is my surgery. It took us about an hour this morning to get to the hospital for the pre-op appointment because the snow was bad and the traffic was bad. I had started drinking the water for the u/s and they told me that they needed a urine sample, so I had to start over on filling my bladder. I got to the u/s appointment and I thought my bladder would burst. The u/s tech and the fellow that was training both commented about how full it was. Thankful they did a quick transabdominal u/s and let me use the restroom before doing the much more extensive transvaginal u/s. They saw some possible endometriomas and Dr. Hil.gers mentioned that he thought there was a very good chance that I have endometriosis (which is what I expected since many people including my mom suggested it and my mom had it).

I've done the enema. It wasn't too bad, but the problem was I had to go to the bathroom right before it so I was worried that I didn't get everything, but I think it's ok. I took my shower and I'm about to get D to help me with the antimicrobial skin prep wipedown. D is supposed to be calling Sew so she can keep everyone updated. I've got to be at the hospital at 7 and surgery is starting at 8:30. We're leaving for the hospital early because of the weather, so it's time for bed. Thanks for all of your prayers.

Great timing :(

I'm getting a cold. The kids I nanny for have been sick the last few days, and I should have started Zi.cam then, but I forgot. Surgery is in 4 days. I hope I can keep from getting any worse with sinus rinsing, lots of Vitamin C, and Z.icam.

Anyone have any advice about the surgery?

CD 1...Cycle 26

Today is CD 1 (I'm pretty sure...hard to know since I've been spotting/bleeding for over a week), and my surgery is in just over a week. This time next week, we'll be in Omaha (and I'll have to give myself an enema...oh joy). I'll be on CD 9 for my surgery on December 9. My bbs are still hurting which is weird and annoying. It's weird since I've only had it the last few cycles.

Novena to Our Lady of Guadalupe Day 1

I'm going to be saying this novena starting today, November 30 and finishing the day before my surgery, December 8. If you would like to join me and get an email, comment or send me an email at mrsblondies (at) gmail (dot) com.

Immaculate and Perpetual Virgin of Guadalupe, you appeared on Mount Tepeyac to reconcile mankind to God. Plead and intercede with you Son Jesus today, that a bond of Holy Love is formed between all humanity and God.

You left your image on the cloak of Juan Diego, using a humble vessel to bring your Grace into the world. Imprint on our hearts the virtue of humanity, dear Mother, and use us to bring others to your Son.

Your Image of Guadalupe was a symbolic story to the Aztecs, converting them from paganism to Christianity. Pray for us, dear Mother, that our lives will be symbols of Holy Love, converting those around us.

You proclaimed yourself our Mother and Protectress when you appeared on Mt. Tepeyac. Take us into your Maternal Heart, dear Mother, and protect our faith.

Our Lady of Guadalupe pray for us!

To wait and to hope

Today at Mass during the homily, the priest was discussing how Advent is to remind us of the time of the Israelites in the Old Testament. The quote that really struck me was that they "had little reason to celebrate, or to wait and to hope." This quote is so applicable to infertility. Even though Advent is waiting for a birth, I think that it's also a season for infertiles. Our lives are spent in waiting (trying to be hopeful).

I also talked to my priest about getting Anointing of the Sick next week.

I'm at 11 DPO and still spotting/bleeding, but not so much that it's a new cycle yet. I'll be on cycle 7-9 on surgery day, which is in 10 days!

Thankful

I'm thankful for

-my family, even though they are far away

-Skype, so I can "see" my family

-my in-laws, who are all wonderful people

-my grandparents, who are still chugging along

-D, who is a wonderful husband and truly loves me

-my surgery being in 13 days, and hopefully getting some answers

-the Catholic IF blogger community for all the support and information that I otherwise won't have

-God's love and blessing, even when I don't recognize them

-a friend who invited us for Thanksgiving, so I don't have to make a Thanksgiving meal for 2

-live in a country that allows us to have so many blessings

Picture Post

I just made this braclet. It has medals of St. Gerard, St. Anne, Blessed Kateri, and the Miraculous Medal.

D got these flowers for me on my birthday (Oct. 11). Lavender roses are my favorites, and white are a close second.

Our front yard during the flooding a few weeks ago.

This is our garage during the flooding. It's hard to see but there's about 2 inches of water inside the garage.

Our truck on the garage driveway during the flooding.


The flooding in the front yard on video. It's dark, but you can see how fast the water is flowing.






The flooding in the garage.

Awesome deal on Matt Maher's new album!

This week only - download Matt's newest album for $5 on Amazonmp3.comhttp://bit.ly/maheramazonmp3


If you've never hear Matt Maher, go check it out and also go look at his older albums.  He's a Catholic musician/songwriter.

Another brother as a priest?

One of my brothers (third of the four siblings...I'm the oldest) is a seminarian right now (the one who help to found the religious order that he's part of).  My youngest brother is a sophomore in college and is on a semester abroad in Austria.  He was recently in Medjugorje and this is what the email he sent:

Okay, so I haven't told anyone this because I wanted to tell you guys first. During the first day at Medjugorje, we climbed Apparition Hill, where the Blessed Virgin first appeared to the visionaries. We prayed the Rosary up the hill, and at the top there is a statue of Our Lady where she first appeared. Everyone sat there and prayed quietly. As I was sitting there, completely out of the blue, I hear a voice in my head, "K, I want you to be a priest." And, of course, my first reaction is "Woah, woah, woah, wait a minute, this is not what I planned." So of course I try to put it to the side and forget about it.

Later on that evening, there is adoration going on in the church. As I am in adoration, I hear the exact same thing again, and I honestly don't want to hear it. I want to have my own little plans and hopefully God will fit in them. Of course, God ruins our fun little plans and so yeah. God is calling me to become a priest. It's crazy. I still don't think I have quite processed it yet. But praise God for that. I really think this entire semester, especially on 10-day, prepared me for this in Medj. I really have just learned to trust in the Lord in all things, and to give Him all that I am. And I am so thankful for Our Lady's intercession, because I really do believe that this was the reason I finally heard the voice. I was able to be quiet, to get away from things, and just listen to the voice of the Lord.

I'm pretty sure that the oldest of my brothers will not end up being a priest since he's a big hippy, has never really been a practicing Catholic and has been dating the same girl for 9 years and bought a house with her (but still hasn't proposed).

Nevermind

I started spotting/bleeding last night right before bed.  Clearly I shouldn't have said anything in my post yesterday.  I really hope the surgery takes care of this.  I'll probably have bleeding from now until my surgery (and a bit after).  I hate bleeding for three weeks straight.  Only 16 more days until surgery.

Where to next and worries about IF and health care reform

Now that I'm about 2 weeks (17 days to be exact) from my surgery, I'm starting to think about what to do if there are problems other than what Dr. H looks for/finds.  What if I have implantation failure?  I don't know if I can afford to go see Dr. K.wak-K.im (in Chicago, TCIE is being treated by her).  I'd like to know whether the implantation zone of  my endometrium is getting sufficient blood flow.  Unless adoption falls into our laps (like might be happening for Sew), we couldn't afford to adoption for a couple more years.  I'm ready for the surgery to be done and to know what treatments we might need (or if he was able to clean out a moderate level of endo).  The good news is that my change in diet (based Fe.rtility, Cyc.les and Nu.trition) seems to have stopped my crazy spotting.  I can't guarantee it since this is only the third full cycle (and I'm only P+4) since I started it, but even D said that there was a difference.

Now that the Senate is getting close to passing health care reform, I'm getting worried.  I know that it doesn't go into effect for about 3 years, but I worry about whether IF people, especially us Catholic who want to treat the underlying causes and not do ART, will be able to get the treatment we want and need.  I don't know if there are any provisions in there about IF (IF is pretty much only on the radar of those who are dealing/have dealt with it).  Yes, changes need to be made to the health care system, but I'm very weary of the government (and especially this administration) being involved in it.

P+3 quick update

We ended up using P-2 and P-1.  CD 1 should be no later than Dec. 2, a week before surgery and I'll be on about CD 8. Surgery is in 18 days.

Concert

I'm on CD 18, waiting to o with 10KL.  Although D has said we will TTC this cycle, we haven't used any days yet.   I'm fine either way since my surgery is in 23 days.

This Saturday I went with my choir friends to the Mich.ael W. S.mith, Mat.t Ma.her (who was the main reason we went even though he wasn't the headliner), Ph.il St.acy, and Mer.edith Andrews concert.  It was lots of fun and M.att Ma.her was definitely the best part, although I'd have preferred to see a concert were he was the headliner and not at a Protestant church.

Men and IF

The Misfit at Being Infertile posted about how her husband finally showed his feelings about IF.  Her post got me thinking about the difference in how men show their feeling about IF.

I know that I've had issues where I got really frustrated with D because it seemed like he didn't care about all the IF stuff.  I think there are a few big issues that cause it to be difficult to see the pain that our husbands are going through with IF.  The first issue is that I think that often they don't want us to see their pain.  They are trying to be strong for us.  It's really hard for both people to be highly emotional over long periods of time, and we usually do need them to be our rock.  The second reason is that the men handle the intense emotions differently than women do, and men often have a hard time even acknowledging certain painful emotions (like sadness and depression).  We get frustrated because we don't see them showing their emotions the way we do.  Our husbands can feel intensely about IF, but we may only see small glimpses of it.

And on a complete different note, I've actually updated my recipe blog recently (I started in January but didn't do much with it until October).

27 days until surgery.

Another weird pain: Updated

For the past two days, I've been having a weird back and abdominal pain after I eat.  It lasts for a few hours, but it goes away so I don't think it's anything like appendicitis or food poisioning or anything like that.  I haven't eaten anything new, so I don't know what's going on.

I'm on CD 13 and I'm still waiting to see any sort of CM.  28 days until surgery.

Update:  It's worst after breakfast.  It's not as bad after lunch, and I don't remember it after dinner.  Since JB asked this is what I ate:
Yesterday & Today breakfast- Smoothie- Homemade with Spinach, Yogurt, Berries, Avocado & Flax Oil (it's what I have every morning) &Cereal- Food for Life Ezekiel 4:9 Almond
Yesterday & Today Lunch- Multigrain Pita Pocket with Hummus, Tomato (yesterday I had spinach and today I had brocolli and bean)
Yesterday Dinner- Swordfish in Herbed Butter Sauce & Ben & Jerry Peach Cobbler Ice Cream