A sad, probably controversial thought

I read blogs of a number of women who have lost children due to stillbirth and miscarriage, and I had a sad fear/thought/realization.  I think that part of the reason that there isn't more research done on miscarriage and stillbirth is due to the abortion culture.  Since in the minds of those who support abortion the baby/fetus is not a person, there is less of an effort made to discover reasons for the deaths of those children.  

I hope that those who do medical research will realize that this is something that they ought to put their time and money into.

Business trips

D will be going out of town next week for work.  Of course I should hopefully o next week, luckily it shouldn't be until Saturday.  I was quite disappointed when he told me, since he'd been changed to a different division of the company and wasn't going to be travelling at all.  He likes traveling, but it's bad timing since we are going to Austin next weekend for my parents' anniversary party and we'll have to meet in Houston.  Otherwise he'd have to drive 3 hours here and 6 hours to Austin.  This way I'm driving 4 hours, he's driving 3 and then we'll drive 3 1/2 together.

I don't like being home by myself all week long.  I was also hoping to actually be able to have a couple days before o to cover our bases.  I guess I've just got to conceive D to take advantage of Friday and Saturday (at minimum).

The Story of Mr. & Mrs. Blondie Part 2

Part 1

We pick up our story in December 2004.  I had left in August 2002 for graduate school in Philadelphia and moved back in August 2004.  D and I saw each other at church and hanging out with friends when we were both home from school.  Whenever we went to the movies with friends, D and I ended up sitting next to each other (not my doing and he claims that he didn't do it on purpose either) and sometimes he'd drive me home.

D graduated in December 2004, and the day after graduation was a Sunday so after church a group of us went out to eat.  After we were done eating, I asked D if he wanted to see a movie (in a group...Ocean's Twelve) and I would pay for his ticket as a "graduation present".  We of course ended up sitting next to each other.  The next thing that happened is going to sound funny but it's an important part to me.  As we were sharing an armrest, our pinkies were touching (which I'm pretty sure had happen before, but D probably wouldn't admit it).  The pinky touching progressed into hand holding, and D took me home from the movie.  After talking in the car for a while, we eventually ended up kissing.  We exchanged phone numbers before he left that night.

He called me the next day and we drove around our hometown for hours and made out and decided we were officially dating.  We count from the night of the movie, December 19, 2004. We've been together ever since, but the story doesn't end there. 

I shouldn't self-diagnose but I'm worried

I'm worried right now from reading the information from Dr. Toth on This Cross I Embrace's blog. I fear that there's an infection that's causing the problems conceiving and the bleeding and such. I'm worried that if that is the problem, it could be very time-consuming and expensive to deal with. I worry that we won't be able to try to conceive for a long time. I haven't even completed this cycle and sent my letter to Dr. Hilgers, but I'm concerned.  

Not the greatest start and 100 songs from 1998

This week hasn't gotten off to a great start.  The little boy that I nanny for has been sick and cranky.  I haven't gotten enough sleep, and D has gotten home late both nights so far this week.  

I borrowed this meme from Busted
The Rules: A.) Go to Music Outfitters. B.) Enter the year you graduated from high school in the search function and get the list of 100 most popular songs of that year. C.) Bold the songs you like, strike through the ones you REALLY hate. (I can't strike through, so I am using italics). I've also added my own editorializing as further distraction.

I haven't finished going through the song, but here's a start

1998:

1. Too Close, Next
2. The Boy Is Mine, Brandy and Monica
3. You're Still The One, Shania Twain
4. Truly Madly Deeply, Savage Garden
5. How Do I Live, LeAnn Rimes
6. Together Again, Janet
7. All My Life, K-Ci and JoJo
8. Candle In The Wind 1997, Elton John
9. Nice and Slow, Usher
10. I Don't Want To Wait, Paula Cole
11. How's It Going To Be, Third Eye Blind (the Dawson Creek song)
12. No, No, No, Destiny's Child
13. My Heart Will Go On, Celine Dion (way overplayed due to Titanic) 
14. Gettin' Jiggy Wit, Will Smith (another song that was way overplayed)
15. You Make Me Wanna..., Usher
16. My Way, Usher
17. My All, Mariah Carey
18. The First Night, Monica
19. Been Around The World, Puff Daddy and The Family
20. Adia, Sarah McLachlan
21. Crush, Jennifer Paige
22. Everybody (Backstreet's Back), Backstreet Boys (I'm not a big fan of boy bands)
23. I Don't Want To Miss A Thing, Aerosmith (even though it was overplayed, it's a sweet song)
24. Body Bumpin Yippie-Yi-Yo, Public Announcement (hadn't hear this song before, but the 30 seconds from itunes annoyed me)
25. This Kiss, Faith Hill
26. I Don't Ever Want To See You Again, Uncle Sam
27. Let's Ride, Montell Jordan
28. Sex And Candy, Marcy Playground
29. Show Me Love, Robyn
30. A Song For Mama, Boyz II Men
31. What You Want, Mase
32. Frozen, Madonna
33. Gone Till November, Wyclef Jean
34. My Body, Lsg
35. Tubthumping, Chumbawamba
36. Deja Vu (Uptown Baby), Lord Tariq and Peter Gunz
37. I Want You Back, 'N Sync
38. When The Lights Go Out, Five
39. They Don't Know, Jon B.
40. Make Em' Say Uhh!, Master P
41. Make It Hot, Nicole Featuring Missy "Misdemeanor" Elliott and Mocha 
42. Never Eve, All Saints
43. I Get Lonely, Janet
44. Feel So Good, Mase
45. Say It, Voices Of Theory
46. Kiss The Rain, Billie Myers
47. Come With Me, Puff Daddy
48. Romeo And Juliet, Sylk-E Fyne
49. It's All About Me, Mya and Sisqo
50. I Will Come To You, Hanson
51. One Week, Barenaked Ladies
52. Swing My Way, K.P. and Envyi
53. The Arms Of The One Who Loves You, Xscape
54. My Love Is The Shhh!, Somethin' For The People
55. Daydreamin', Tatyana Ali
56. We're Not Making Love No More, Dru Hill
57. Semi-Charmed Life, Third Eye Blind
58. I Do, Lisa Loeb
59. Lookin' At Me, Mase
60. Looking Through Your Eyes, LeAnn Rimes
61. Lately, Divine
62. Quit Playing Games (With My Heart), Backstreet Boys
63. I Still Love You, Next
64. Time After Time, Inoj
65. Are You Jimmy Ray?, Jimmy Ray
66. Cruel Summer, Ace Of Base
67. I Got The Hook Up!, Master P
68. Victory, Puff Daddy and The Family
69. Too Much, Spice Girls
70. Ghetto Supastar (That Is What You Are), Pras Feat. Ol' Dirty Bastard and Mya
71. How Deep Is Your Love, Dru Hill Featuring Redman
72. Friend Of Mine, Kelly Price
73. Turn It Up [Remix]/Fire It Up, Busta Rhymes
74. I'll Be, Edwin McCain
75. Ray Of Light, Madonna
76. All For You, Sister Hazel
77. Touch It, Monifah
78. Money, Power and Respect, Lox
79. Bitter Sweet Symphony, The Verve
80. Dangerous, Busta Rhymes
81. Spice Up Your Life, Spice Girls (Spice Girls, need I say more)
82. Because Of You, 98 Degrees
83. The Mummers' Dance, Loreena McKennitt
84. All Cried Out, Allure Featuring 112
85. Still Not A Player, Big Punisher Featuring Joe
86. The One I Gave My Heart To, Aaliyah
87. Foolish Games/You Were Meant For Me, Jewel
88. Love You Down, Inoj
89. Do For Love, 2Pac
90. Raise The Roof, Luke
91. Heaven, Nu Flavor
92. The Party Continues, Jd
93. Sock It 2 Me, Missy "Misdemeanor" Elliott Featuring Da Brat
94. Butta Love, Next
95. A Rose Is Still A Rose, Aretha Franklin
96. 4 Seasons Of Loneliness, Boyz II Men
97. Father, LL Cool J
98. Thinkin' Bout It, Gerald Levert
99. Nobody's Supposed To Be Here, Deborah Cox
100. Westside, TQ

CD 1: Cycle 14...back in the game

Today is CD 1 and the break cycle is over.  I'm glad to be done with the break and be back to trying.  This is the happiest that I've been to get my period in a while.  At the end of this cycle, I'll be able to send my letter to Dr. Hilgers.  Thank you to This Cross I Embrace for sending me your letter to help me to get started.  At my follow-up yesterday, my Creighton teacher said that there are definitely somethings in my chart that Dr. Hilgers will want to look into (the bleeding the cycle between, long periods/going straight into mucus, non-peak type mucus after peak day).  I'm hoping to have some idea of what our problems are and what the next steps should be on treatments by the beginning of the year.

My Creighton Chart

I'm going to put a link to my Creighton Chart on the side. I put my Creighton Chart as well as my temps in a excel file which I will try to keep up to date. 

I haven't really talked about this cycle much since it's a break cycle, and zero chance of pregnancy.  Based on temps (and my most fertile mucus), I ovulated on CD 18.  That puts me at 7DPO. The good news is that I haven't had any bleeding. However, I've had white stamps (peak-type mucus) until yesterday, even though they were less fertile mucus (10CL or 10C/KL, 8C, 6C instead of 10KL for you Creighton charters) than CD 18.  I used my first green stamp yesterday.  However, I've already seen 6C today so I'll be using another white stamp today.  I'm guessing that I'll be going to yellow stamps in a couple cycles if I keep having this happen.  I should be ready to send my chart by Thanksgiving to Dr. Hilgers.

National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day

It's just after 7 pm here, so in rememberance of all of my internet friends (of which there are sadly too many to mention), and the friends, family (especially my aunt and my cousin's wife) and all who have lost a child.  Sadly, I didn't know until I was an adult that my aunt had lost twin boys before I was born due to incompetent cervix.  I pray for healing for all those who have had a loss.

It's almost my birthday

My 28th birthday is tomorrow and so is my 10 year high school reunion.  There's not really anyone from high school (from my year at least) that I'm still friends with, but I'm curious to see everyone.  We are going to a football game tonight (as part of the reunion) where the high school that I went to is playing the high school that my youngest brother just graduated from in June.  My parents are going to the game although they'll be on the side of my brother's high school since he was a varsity starter for 2 years.

This week has been long and tiring.  I went on Mondayto get my license finally changed to Louisiana (after living here over two years), since my Texas one was about to expire.  I didn't have all the documentation that I needed (since the website is not very clear), so I had to go home and then come back.  I had a dentist appt on Wednesday and I got my car "inspection" (they don't really inspect much that I can tell) and I had to take the lady I work for her cell phone.

I think I oed yesterday since my temp went up and I went to less fertile mucus (from 10KL to 8CL).  I hope I did, so that this no sex cycle will over with soon.  I'm ready to get back to trying and it would also be nice if I could be oing around CD 17 or 18, instead of CD 21, even without the CD 21.  I was worried (and still am slightly worried) that I'll go back to my regular CD 21 o with some cycles going closer to CD 28 to 30-something.  

I think that for next cycle I need to figure out some way to let D know that it's fertile time without telling him so that he can be the initiator.  He's been more interested in sex ever since we have been on the break, so I'd like to have some ideas on keeping him interested so that we'll have decent timing in the future.

Some more random stuff

I have more random stuff that isn't really connected to talk about:

D seems to have more interested in having sex now that we aren't supposed to have sex for a month. I'm guessing once we get back to o time of the next cycle when we're actually trying, he won't want sex anymore. It's quite annoying.

My back has been bothering me a lot lately. I probably need to start by wearing my most supportive tennis shoes.

W, the little boy that I nanny for, threw up on Wednesday. Luckily we were in the garage and he only threw up once.

My 28th birthday is next Saturday and so is my high school reunion.

I dyed my hair blonder, but it's not as light as I hoped and expected from the box. I'm going to do it light in early to mid-November.