Cycle Update

I'm on CD 15, and I had a couple days of 10C/KL or 10KL (earlier than ever), but now I'm having just 8C. My temp is relatively low so I don't think that I actually ovulated. If I did ovulate, I ovulated on CD 13, the earliest since I started charting in June 2007. I don't know if I'm going to have a split or double peak. I've had either a split or double peak for the last few cycles, which is getting really annoying. I just want my body to work correctly. I'm ready to have my surgery to see if my cycles normalize then.

D and my anniversary is tomorrow.

D's BF's Wedding, etc.

I'm on day 8, and I (as of know) seem to have finished spotting yesterday. That's definitely an improvement for me. It would be nice if this coming weekend (or by our anniversary next Tuesday), I had fertile CM but I'm not going to hold my breath since my body likes to throw curveballs. I'm finally at my maintance dose for T3 and only have to do temps and pulses once a week instead of every day.

I hope everyone had a great July 4. We had a very low key day and just hung out at home.

D's best friend's wedding was a lot of fun, but there was a lot of baby/pregnancy talk. They are some of the later people to get married and they went to a strong Catholic college so most married people had one or more kids. One of the bridesmaids was about 8 months pregnant. I did get to see my IRL IF friend who is starting to look into adoption for her second child (tried 4 years for first and have been trying 4 years for second). I also got to see my brother who's a religious, and he and some friends prayed with me about IF.

Finally CD 1...Cycle 21

Today is finally CD 1. I have bad cramps and am very tired, but I'm glad that that crazy 50 day cycle is over. I'll post later about the wedding we went to it was a lot of fun.

SA results

D's SA results were good, so the issue isn't MFI. The experience was not so good, but I'm not getting into details. At least it's done.

I'm still just spotting/light bleeding. I just want to start a new cycle. I'm on CD 43 without a confirmed ovulation.

We are going to STL for his best friend's wedding next week. I'm looking for to it a lot, especially since one of my brothers will be there and I haven't seen him since November. We'll be there from Wednesday to Sunday. My youngest brother is stopping (with a couple friends) by Sunday night on his way back from working at a church camp in GA.

Nope

A couple people suggested that I test in case I managed to ovulate and get pregnant, but nope...it was a BFN. Still just spotting really with spurts of light bleeding.

Spotting

I detest spotting, especially since I've dealt with it for alot of the past year. I'm currently still just lightly spotting and weirdly enough my temp is going up. I just want my body to decide if it's started a new cycle or not and get to my real period. I put in a new cycle on FF, but I'm not sure if it's true

Reset

I'm bleeding, but I'm happy about it. The way I see it there are three possibilities for what happen this cycle and none of them are great so I'd rather reset and have a fresh start.

Possibility 1: This cycle was annovulatory and I'm getting my period now. This would actually be the first annovulatory cycle that I've had. 38 days and my period starting on its own is not too bad for an annovualtory cycle.

Possibility 2: I ovulated on CD 24 or 25, but it was a poor ovulation and hard to detect since I had fertile CM afterwards. I would have a 12 or 13 day LP.

Possibility 3: This isn't really a new cycle, but spotting/bleeding since my cycle started so long ago. I'll bleed for a couple days and ovulation will happen pretty soon. This has happen to me twice already.

I'll know if it's possibility 3 relatively soon, but I won't be able to figure out between possibility 1 and 2. Hopefully next cycle won't be as crazy.

Free blog background or header

Does anyone want me to make them a free blog background or header? I'm not a graphic designer or anything, but I'd be willing to make a couple backgrounds and/or headers. I just started using a free Ph.oto.shop-like program. You'd need to give me some ideas on what you want (colors, themes, pictures). I'll make them for the first three people who request it. Comment with your email and I'll send you my email address.

Fantabulously Frugal giveaway

Fantabulously Frugal is having a Big GiveAway. IF you decide to enter, Please Put in that Carolyn From Waiting for Baby Blondie refered you. Thanks.

Prayer

This is the prayer that I'm trying to pray for myself and all you girls out there:

Lord, help me (us) to prepare for the path you have planned for me (us).

As you can see from my ticker, Fertilty Friend now agrees that instead of being 8DPO, I haven't ovulated yet. It's CD32 and I'm having 8C (not normal amounts for post-peak), but I haven't had another round of 10C/KL (it'll be round 3 this cycle...triple peak!!!). That means that I'm probably not going to o in the next couple days (assuming that I do this cycle), and I'll most likely have my longest cycle since TTC (the record so far is 48 days with o on CD 36).

August 3

August 3 is when I'm supposed to call to get my surgery scheduled for one of the first 3 weeks in December. I'm probably not going to be able to get the u/s series done then because of the amount of time I'd need to take off.

Although the ticker says 7DPO (which means our timing wasn't quite as bad as I thought since we used O-2), my waking temps are in the low 97 the past couple days and I don't know that I've actually ovulated. In addition to the low temps, I seem to be going back to more fertile CM and I'm on CD 31 (lovely).

Sad

Yesterday when D was heading over to our friends' house who have an almost 2 year old, he said "and I'm going to pretend to be a daddy".  He said it casually, but it reminds me how hard this is for him too.

I've been feeling pretty hopeless about the possibility of pregnancy lately.  I also know that D isn't going to be ready to start looking into adoption until we've tried awhile after my surgery.  Also, we've got a couple years before it's going to be financially feasible, but if I'm not pregnant by this time next year I'm going to want to start looking into it.

Late o, bad timing

As of now, it looks like I might have ovulated Wednesday (CD 25) and had my peak day yesterday.  However our timing was horrible, we only used Sunday.  It's also possible that I haven't yet/won't ovulate since my temps are relatively low for post-Peak.  This cycle has been funky (back to 10+ days of period/spotting and split/double peak and I'm ready to just have a fresh start.  I'm going to call PPVI to schedule my surgery soon (probably Monday).

Waiting for Peak

I'm pretty sure that Wednesday was not really my peak day. I had 8CAD for Thursday through Saturday, but I had 10C/KL yesterday (which we used just in case). Also, my temps are pretty low for if I've actually oed. So now I must wait to see if I have a temp jump or more peak type mucus or what's going on. Luckily I'm not on any medication that's cycle based (just the T3 which I'm on throughout). Once I confirm my peak/o, I'm going to call to get my surgery scheduled.

Also, D is finally ready to have an SA, so hopefully we can get that done in the next few weeks. We were talking about something IF related and he asked if we knew that I was the one with issues. I told him that I'm pretty sure that I am part of the IF, but until he had a SA, we couldn't rule out him having issues.

P+1?

I'm pretty sure today is O+1/P+1 (CD 18 is not too bad for me).  Yesterday I had a temp dip and 10KL (I didn't have as much CM as usual though), and today was a higher temp and 8C.  We used Monday, but yesterday D was frustrated and tired of sex on a schedule.  I completely understand the sentiment; we are "forcing" ourselves during fertile times and doing that for two years has gotten old.  I'm going to work on surrending it since I have a habit of being the pursuer instead of letting D pursue.  

Once I've confirmed my peak day, I'm planning to call to try to get my surgery scheduled (still planning on Dec.).  I'm hoping that I'll have another month without the crazy spotting; that would be such an improvement.

Green stickers (AKA My Crazy Chart)

I was looking today at my stickers for my Creighton Chart to check if I needed more yellow stickers (yes I do). I also learned that I still have FIVE sheets of plain green stickers and I've only used 5 plain green stickers since September.

Here's a count of what I've used since September:

Red: 134

Green: 5 (as I already mentioned)

Green Baby: 5

White Baby: 75 (some of those are before I started with yellow stickers so it's higher than it should "really" be)

Yellow: 25 (since December)

Yellow Baby: 10 (since December)

The good(ish) news is that I finally stopped spotting after CD 12. Now I just have to wait for 10C/KL.

I hope everyone has a relaxing Memorial Day, and don't forget to keep those who have given their lives for our country and their families in your prayers.

Cycle update etc.

I'm on CD 11 and I'm still spotting which is crappy.  I've been feeling my ovaries more this cycle, but I'm not sure why.  They actually feel a bit like they did on clomid where pressure is uncomfortable.  I'm hoping the spotting will finish up so that I can actually o at a decent time.  I'm going to be starting the T3 soon (whopee on checking pulse and temps 3x a day).

I don't know if it's the fact that 2 years is getting close or D's best friend's wedding coming up soon (or some crazy hormonalness) but I've been feeling sad about IF this cycle than I had in a while.  I did however find out at the bridal shower (same wedding) that an acquaintance from my church in my hometown is now dealing with secondary IF after dealing with primary IF.  We commiserated about the fact that there was a woman there who was pregnant with her 10th child; how it's great for her but it's still hard to see when you have been waiting for the same blessing for a few years.  I'm trying to bear my cross and surrender to God's will, but right now I'm having a tough time. 

 

I've done a little writing (like 2 pages or so) on the book, but I'm going to try to do some more over the weekend now that I have a more functional computer.  I'm not sure if I'm ever going to be able to make it a true book or ever get it sold but I feel that I need to try to get it down on paper at least.  I may at some point make a private blog for it.

Technology breakdown

D's computer, our wireless router, our modem, and I all had a breakdown on Sunday evening. D's computer was his work computer so that is still with the IT dept. trying to fix it. He got a new laptop yesterday which I am borrowing today since my computer is both physically broken and incredibly slow. We had to buy a new wireless router since ours got fried somehow (the one we had was free so it wasn't as bad as if we had bought the original). Luckily the modem just got reset when the wireless blew out so we just had call our ISP to get the user name and password to reset. We also got 2 large TV that we bought from one of D's work friends for $350. We still don't have cable/satellite but we are getting satellite when my parents move to Qatar for my dad's work later this year.

I am going to visit my parents this weekend since a friend is having a bridal shower this Sunday in our hometown. My mom recently got a new computer so I'm going to get my dad to put my hard drive in her old computer and hopefully the performance will improve.

My cousin who was having premature labor at 32 weeks had her son at 35-36 weeks. He is doing well and didn't have to go to the NICU or special care nursery.

P.S. I need some prayers that the little girl that I nanny for will get into the Montes.sori school (for preschool) for the fall. She's on the waiting list and she really needs the Montes.sori style schooling enviroment. I think she will do so much better there than a traditional school environment and that will reduce my stress as well as her parents' stress.

The stress of all our technology breaking down at once plus normal period crazies was not a good combo. I'm feeling emotionally better but the cramps kicked in yesterday and now they are quite painful. Also my hypoglycemia has been bothering me a bit lately and I feel nauseated unless I eat something every hour or so.

CD 1...Cycle 20

Waking up at 4:15 in the morning and going to the bathroom to find bleeding was not the way I wanted to start Mother's Day.  The new cycle starting hit me hard than I thought it would since it was at least different from the early spotting I've had for most of the past year (except of course the break cycle).  I also feel bad having to tell D that it didn't work...again.  Maybe after my surgery (still planning on December...for financial reasons), there will be a chance.  However, I'm worried about how I'm going to handle it if I still don't get pregnant and we hit 2011.

P+11 and Thryoid Study

I'm currently at P+11 right now without any spotting, but I feel like I'm about to spot/start a new cycle. D keeps asking me if I'm going to test soon, but I'm not going to unless I get to P+14 (Tuesday) without spotting.

I can almost guarantee that I'm not going to qualify for the Thyriod Dysfunction Study. My pre-peak average was 98.1 or 98.2 and post-peak it was 98.7 most days. I'm a little surprised that my temps were as high as they were. I'm sending the paperwork back today.