Hmmm...any ideas?

I'm not spotting and it's P+11, which is good. However, I was looking at my chart and it looks like the crazy spotting/bledding during my LP seems to only happen when we use days of fertility, which we didn't this cycle. I have no idea why it wouldn't happen on cycles we didn't use days of fertility if it's endo or a polyp or something. Any ideas?

Another first cousin once removed

My cousin and his wife are having there third child. They have a 2 1/2 year old and a 8 month old. It's great for them, but I'm so jealous. They'll have had 2 kids since we started trying and we can't even have one. They live on the other side of the country, but it's still going to be hard to see online.

The good news on this cycle is no spotting so far and I'm at 9DPO, but I'm not pregnant since we didn't use any of the days of fertility. I'm ready for it to be December and surgery time.

Giveaway from another blog

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HomeGoods StyleScope - I'm a Country Classic

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Semi-break

We are not really going to TTC until after my surgery in December. We missed this month (unless I double peak). It seems like it would be better to spend our energy on really trying once everything is fixed. We're not TTA and I'm still charting, but I'm not going to put much effort into using fertile days since we haven't been great lately. I think D may not want to put in the effort to use the days now since it's not working. D may be thinking what's the point in trying right now since my body is still crazy.

Sick

I caught a nasty cold from the little girl I nanny for. I had a fever of 101 Saturday, but thankfully I haven't had one since then. My weekend was most spent rest and watching tv/movies. I still have a sore throat and a bad case of laryngitis. I'm very tired and just want to go home and sleep. I ,of course, started having good CM last night and I have to see if I can convince D to use one of the next two days or the weekend. We are going to visit our parents, but I'm leaving earlier than he is, Friday won't happen and Saturday probably won't either since we are going to a newlywed party for his friends and there will be beer involved.

Last Friday, I was at a product party (where a person was selling spa and beauty products), and the topic of IF came up. It's amazing that women who have been pregnant have so little idea of how fertility works. I explained a bit about NFP, both for TTC and postponing pregnancy. They aren't Catholic and brought up if I would need to go on BC to "normalize" my cycle. I told them that I was never going back on BC and that there are other medications that will actually correct any hormonal problems. One of the girls is currently pregnant (well she's actually having a c-section today because her baby is sick) and said that they tried for 18 months and finally succeed after putting cycle info into one of those on-line calculators. I wish it was that easy.

Busy Weekend

We had friends over for dinner on Friday, and Saturday my dad came to drop off the stuff we are getting while they are overseas. Some of the things they gave us included their fridge, a stand mixer, tools, a mattress and a dining table. I spent Saturday morning (late morning...I was up late Friday night) going to the farmer's market. The farmer's market was ok. There wasn't any fruit when I got there toward the end, but I did get tomatoes. Afterwards I went to W (the boy that I nanny for)'s second birthday party. I did some cleaning before my dad got in town, and then we spent the rest of the night getting stuff unloaded and put in the house.

A lot of the weekend was spent cooking. I made yogurt in my crockpot, homemade chicken stock, and tomato sauce (all for the first time). Since we were switching out the fridge, I couldn't go grocery shopping until Sunday morning, so it was late last night when I finished up and went to bed. The good news is that I don't have to make tomato sauce or broth again for a while since I made really big batches.

I really haven't been thinking about IF/TTC that much lately. I don't know without looking at my chart when my cycle started or what cycle day I'm on. I'm pretty sure that we have no chance until at least after my surgery, so I've pretty much put it out of my head except when I'm around pregnant women or things like that.

I haven't had any more heavy bleeding, and I think since it was so heavy, it actually caused my period to be lighter than usual.

Scary bleeding (TMI warning) ETA

Last night I had some really heavy bleeding. I completely soaked a pad in about 2 hours and had very large clots. It was the heaviest bleeding I've ever had (and I'm only P+10). I had some cramping but they weren't too bad. I was very thankful D was home when it happened since I was quite concerned that I might have to go to the ER or Urgent Care. I took some flax oil (like is recommended in Fer.tility, Cy.cles and Nutr.ition, and it slowed down. I don't know if the flax oil actually helped out or not, but if it starts back I'll try again. I called PPVI and talked to a nurse who is going to see what Dr. H has to say and I'll update once I hear back. My body truly does have some serious issues.

ETA: I didn't go to the ER or urgent care because the bleeding lasted 2-3 hours, and it slowed down a lot right after I got concerned. No word from Dr. H yet.

One out of six

You've probably heard the statistic that one of every six couples in the US is infertile, and my cousins and I are a perfect example. I have 5 cousins (on my dad's side) that have children (most have two and are younger than me) and had them without any real infertility problems (the longest it took any of them to get pregnant was 10 months). On our vacation, we visited them and we were asked by five different relatives when we were having children (I've only shared our IF problems with one cousin). We had fun hanging out with their kids and D held my cousin's 7 month old for 45 minutes (very cute), but it was hard to see what we don't have (especially since almost all are blondes...like D and I).

The weather was not ideal on our vacation (cool and rainy which is not great for swimming and other water activities). It was great to see my family that I hadn't see in 2 or 3 years. We drove the 30+ hours straight through, so that was tiring.

I did ovulate during our vacation on CD 17, and I'm P+8. However, I started bleeding/spotting today. I started the nutrition plan yesterday from Fertility, Cycles, and Nutrition by Marilyn Shannon. I'm hoping that it'll at least get me in healthy shape for after my surgery. I'll get into more detail and let you know how it goes later.

Surgery scheduled

Surgery scheduled with PPVI on Wednesday, December 9.

Southern ladies get-together?

The wonderful time that Jelly Belly, TCIE, FJIEJ, Fertile Thoughts, All You Who Hope, Living Advent, & Life Hopes had is making me think that we need to do a Catholic IF blogger get-together down here. I know that Life in Mazes and Barbie both live in Louisiana like me, but I don't know if there's anyone else that's close by and interested. I don't have any ideas on when or where, but we should try to plan something if there's interest.

Better ETA

Update: The lady who does scheduling at PPVI is out until next Monday, so I'll have to call while on vacation. Frustrating.

I still haven't found my diamond, but I did get the claim put in for replacing it. My grandma is doing alright, not great but she's at home with home care (I think). I had Friday off, so I was able to rest after a stressful week. We are going on vacation soon to see my relatives on my dad's side, so I'm looking for to that since it also involves lots of swimming and D and I both love the water.

One of our friends was at our house with his almost 2-year-old. The little boy loves D, and D is so cute with him. I got a little sad watching them because I want him to be able to do that with our child (plus the little boy is blond...just like D and I). Our friend even brought up that he can't wait until we have kids. One issue is that our house is not childproofed in anyway, so we had a lot of times where we were have to grab or move stuff so that he wouldn't get into it.

I call PPVI tomorrow to get my surgery scheduled. I'll post and put the date in my sidebar.

Not getting any better

My grandmother's condition has worsened. I still can't find my diamond (I'm going to have to go fill a claim later today or tomorrow). It's pouring so hard that I'm worried that my house might flood (it almost flooded last year, we do have flood insurance). The grandfather of kids that I nanny for is having a major surgery, which I believe is related to his prostate cancer. I'm so upset right now, and I'm not sure if I can handle anything else. I need some prayers.

Stressed

My grandmother went into the hospital on Saturday due to heart problems. Her heart was beating a little too fast and then it would stop for 3-6 seconds, which would make her black out, and then it would restart. She's in the ICU, but she seems to be doing ok today and may be released tomorrow or the day after. Please pray that she will continue to do well. D and I were in town and were able to visit her along with a few of my other relatives. We got in late and I'm very tired.

This morning after putting my ring back on from washing my hands, I realized that my diamond had fallen out of my ring and I haven't yet been able to find it. I have it insured but I just want to find my diamond. I'm probably going to have to get the setting completely redone since I have it less than 3 years and it's been loose before.

Yesterday was also CD 1, so I'm handling the stress even worse than usual. It's starting to bug me when I hear about people who have spotting and end up being pregnant because I start thinking that it's a possibility, but it's never true for me.

Jenna's Journey Blog Giveaway

Jenna's Journey is giving away a devotional book on infertility (Christian, but not specifically Catholic...just an FYI). Go check it out.

Same outcome as usual (cycle update)

I got to P+7 , but I started spotting/bleeding today. I hate have to deal with it over and over again for 2 or more weeks straight. I'm so glad that I'll be calling in 2 weeks to schedule my surgery. I really want to know what's causing my crazy bleeding since low progesterone seems to have been ruled out.

Sometimes I feel like a fraud

When I take the kids that I nanny for (boy almost 2 and girl almost 4) places, people assume that they are my children unless I tell them otherwise. It often not worth mentioning unless it's people we or I see regularly. Those times when it's not worth mention, I feel like I'm lying to people when they ask questions about the kids, like how old they are, and assume I'm their mom. After the tire incident Saturday, I had to take the little boy with me to buy a new tire while the girl was at VBS. The tire guy asked how old he was and told me about his 2-year-old. When I was picking the little girl up from VBS, I was think about how I'm the hidden infertile, who everyone would assume was a mom and how everyone else there (even the grandparents) had had children (or at least adopted). It's weird being an infertile who takes care of children all day.

Congratulations to Sew, who if you don't know, recently found out that she's finally pregnant!

Last Saturday

I just remember that I didn't tell you about last Saturday night while we were out with friends to see a comic. D and a friend went out after D got off work Saturday, and then they picked me up to go to dinner. At dinner, I caused serious injury to my toenail by hitting it with the bathroom door. After I got back to the table, D manage to step on it.

We then got in my car (D drove) to head over to see the comic. There was a stopped train that caused us to detour, and as D was going back out to the street we need to be on, he hit a curb and popped my front driver's side tire. We pulled over and they put on the spare; however, the spare was flat. I had to drive superslow the mile to get to where we were going. Obviously, at this point, I'm not in a good mood. We sit down with our friends and some of their friends to wait until it was time for the show, and one of the women we were with was pregnant (visibly so she was probably about 6 months along). It was just one of those things that I didn't really want to have to deal with during an already crappy evening.

Yesterday, however, was a good day for the most part, except for me stressing myself out about stuff to get done.

2 year anniversary

1. Where/how did you meet: We meet at a mutual friend from church's pool party

2. How long have you known each other: since summer of 2001

3. How long after you met did you start dating: it was almost 3 1/2 years (we started dating in December 2004)

4. How long did you date before you were engaged: 1 1/2 years

5. How long was your engagement: almost 11 months

6. How long have you been married: 2 years

7. What is your anniversary: July 14

8. How many people came to your wedding reception: about 160 people

9. What kind of cake did you serve: white cake with buttercream frosting and raspberry filling in some of the layers

10. Where was your wedding: St. Anthony of Padua, The Wood.lands, TX

11. What did you serve for your meal: D and I had sea bass with whatever else was served, but I don't remember what it was (it was very good, I do remember that)

12. How many people were there in your bridal party: 8 (four on each side)

13. Are you still friends with them all: yes, most were family and we just went to the best man's wedding

14. Did you or your spouse cry during the ceremony: I teared up a little while walking down the aisle

15. Most special moment of your wedding day: walking down the aisle and seeing D

16. Any funny moments: I wasn't trying to smush cake on D, but the piece I tried to feed him was too big and it was funny seeing him try to eat it

17. Any big disasters: it actually worked out ok, but our DJ didn't show up, the resort called the company which left the Hous.ton Bri.dal Show to come and do the music, if people didn't know the story they didn't even know it was an issue

18. Where did you go on your honeymoon: Sandals Och.o Ri.os Jamai.ca

19. How long where you gone: we left Sunday and returned Saturday

20. If you were to do your wedding over, what would you change: try to relax and enjoy the planning more...also make sure the exit was better planned, neither set of parents knew that we were leaving so they missed it

21. What side of the bed do you sleep on: on the right if you are facing the bed

22. What size is your bed: Queen

23. Greatest strength as a couple: having a good sense of humor

24. Greatest challenge as a couple: dealing with IF and all the frustrations that come with it

25. Who literally pays the bills: He does

26. What is your song: now I'd say it's Lost in This Moment by Big and Rich...it came out just before our wedding

27. What did you dance your first dance to: Amazed by Lonestar

28. Describe your wedding dress: it was a princess style dress with a beaded bodice, sheer cap sleeves, a very full tulle skirt and a long train

29. What kind of flowers did you have at your wedding: D and I had white roses and blue hydrangeas, MOH and BM had lavendar roses and blue hydrangeas, and the rest of the bridesmaids and groomsmen had lavendar roses

30. Are your wedding bands engraved? No.

Today is also D's grandparents' anniversary (and this wasn't done intentionally but is very cool), and the feast day of Blessed Kateri Tekakwitha

Cycle Update

I'm on CD 15, and I had a couple days of 10C/KL or 10KL (earlier than ever), but now I'm having just 8C. My temp is relatively low so I don't think that I actually ovulated. If I did ovulate, I ovulated on CD 13, the earliest since I started charting in June 2007. I don't know if I'm going to have a split or double peak. I've had either a split or double peak for the last few cycles, which is getting really annoying. I just want my body to work correctly. I'm ready to have my surgery to see if my cycles normalize then.

D and my anniversary is tomorrow.

D's BF's Wedding, etc.

I'm on day 8, and I (as of know) seem to have finished spotting yesterday. That's definitely an improvement for me. It would be nice if this coming weekend (or by our anniversary next Tuesday), I had fertile CM but I'm not going to hold my breath since my body likes to throw curveballs. I'm finally at my maintance dose for T3 and only have to do temps and pulses once a week instead of every day.

I hope everyone had a great July 4. We had a very low key day and just hung out at home.

D's best friend's wedding was a lot of fun, but there was a lot of baby/pregnancy talk. They are some of the later people to get married and they went to a strong Catholic college so most married people had one or more kids. One of the bridesmaids was about 8 months pregnant. I did get to see my IRL IF friend who is starting to look into adoption for her second child (tried 4 years for first and have been trying 4 years for second). I also got to see my brother who's a religious, and he and some friends prayed with me about IF.