D isn't talking to me

It's not as bad as it sounds, but it is a bit funny.  At some point on Tuesday, D said that he wasn't going to talk to me so he won't get in trouble (not completely sure what had caused this).  On Wednesday, he didn't talk to me at all and I thought that he was mad at me.  He finally wrote out that he wasn't going to talk so he won't get in trouble.  He will write and use gestures or sign language but he has not actually talked to me since Tuesday.  I'm trying to think postively about it, even though I'm not quite sure what to think.  I'm also curious to see what he does when we are around other people over the weekend.

Waiting

O on CD 15 seems to be confirmed, so I'm 3 DPO (Peak+2).  Of course that means my period is due on Feb. 7, when we are going to Dallas overnight.  

I talked to the nurse at PPVI, but I really need to talk to the billing lady, who is of course out.  I also have to wait to get my New Patient Intake form before they can do any scheduling.  Hopefully I'll be able to get my blood draws done next cycle.

I need to do a bigger post soon, but right now I've got some things to do.

O on CD 15?!!

It's possible that I o'd on CD 15.  I haven't oed that early since I started charting.  Even my triggered cycle was CD 17.

With regard to the letter from Dr. Hilgers, plus a cycle update

A couple of people have commented on my last post about the letter from Dr. Hilgers, so I thought I would make a post response instead of replying to each.

• I live in NW Louisiana for those who didn't know.  I am not aware of a Napro doctor close by.
  
• When the nurse calls on Tuesday, I'm going to find out about my options for treatment and prices (and how to find out about insurance coverage).  
• I'm going to see if the bloodwork can be done locally so I could get it done relatively soon.  I would also try to see about getting the u/s series done locally if possible.
• Since our parents are from Houston, if there is a doctor in Houston since that would be easier than going to Omaha.  
• I haven't talked to D yet about everything since we went out with a friend of ours last night and he's working today.
• I have to see if my employers (I'm a nanny) have any upcoming vacations since that would make it easier for me to go either to Houston or to Omaha.
  
• I can't really make any decisions until I've talked to the nurse on Tuesday and have more information.  I'm going to try not to worry about it too much until then.
• I'm very much looking forward to moving forward in getting my body healthy and normalized.

Cycle update:

I'm on CD 14, and I've had 10C/KL (very fertile EWCM for non-Creighton charters) since CD 10.   We took advantage of Wednesday as a day of fertility, and I'm hoping to use today too.  If I o at my normal time, I've still got a week to go (aaahhh).  

I got a St. Anne medal and a Miraculous Medal on Thursday when I went to the local Catholic bookstore, and I started a Novena yesterday to St. Anne.  Gram (D's grandma) enrolled us in The Central Association of the Miraculous Medal for our anniversary.

Response from Dr Hilgers!

I got my response yesterday from Dr. Hilgers via email.  I got it about 2pm, but my cell phone was broken.  I went to go get a new phone after I got off work.  I wasn't able to call until about 4:45 so the one of the nurse will call me back on Tuesday.  I'll let everyone know what I find out Tuesday.

So here the response from Dr. Hilgers (with my name replace with Mrs. Blondie): 

Dear Mrs. (Blondie):

 

Thank you very much for your letter received on December 1, 2008 with regard to your case. I have had the opportunity to review your letter along with the enclosed Creighton Model fertility charts and the medical records that you have submitted. (Mrs. Blondie), you are experiencing functionally abnormal cycles, unusual bleeding, premenstrual symptoms, and moderate menstrual cramps. Let me give you the following comments.

 

In reviewing the Creighton Model chart, the following observations are made. It reveals regular mucus cycles, premenstrual spotting, tail-end brown bleeding, intermenstrual bleeding, and continuous mucus discharge. These findings are often associated with hormonal dysfunction, ovulation defects, endometriosis, endometrial polyps, chronic inflammation of the cervix, and/or chronic low-grade endometrial infection.

 

I would like to make the following recommendations. (Mrs. Blondie), you should have a thorough hormone evaluation of your menstrual cycle (without medications); a thyroid system dysfunction panel; an ultrasound series to determine whether there is an ovulation-related defect; and a diagnostic laparoscopy, hysteroscopy and selective hysterosalpingogram, dilation and curettage (D&C), and endometrial cultures. These tests will determine if there is underlying hormonal dysfunction, an ovulation-related abnormality, endometriosis or pelvic adhesions, obstruction within the fallopian tubes, low-grade endometrial infection and/or a thyroid condition not diagnosed with standard tests. Your husband should also have a seminal fluid analysis if he has not had one within the past year. We can be of assistance with this if you call. We utilize a home collection device that is used during intercourse and is not contraceptive. Once we have this information, we can put together a reasonable plan of treatment.

 

If this is something you would like to pursue, please contact my nurses directly at 402-390-9175 and they can begin to make those arrangements. It will require 7 to 10 days at the Pope Paul VI Institute to complete the tests.

 

The Pope Paul VI Institute is the home of FertilityCare^TM and NaProTECHNOLOGY. We specialize in the interpretation of the Creighton Model FertilityCare^TM charts and in finding the underlying causes to a variety of illnesses of the menstrual and fertility cycle. In addition, we offer a set of innovative approaches to treatment, the success of which generally exceeds that of those treatments currently being used for these conditions.

 

Thank you for sending your case to me. I do think that we can be of some assistance to you.

 

Sincerely yours,

 Thomas W. Hilgers, MD

Senior Medical Consultant

Obstetrics, Gynecology, Reproductive Medicine and Surgery

Director

Pope Paul VI Institute for the Study of Human Reproduction

 

P.S.   Currently, my schedule is such that it will be about three to four months before I can do your laparoscopy. However, the Pope Paul VI Institute has added a new physician who has been trained by me to provide the same medical services. Her name is Catherine E. Keefe, MD. If you would like to schedule your laparoscopy earlier than three to four months from now and have Dr. Keefe provide your care, please inform the nurses when you call and that can be arranged.

Randomness

My brother who is in a religious order knows that I've been having some gynecological problems.  When I talked to him today, he asked about my health, and was going to recommend a dr that he had heard about who's in Omaha.  I then mentioned that I'm already in the process of having Dr. Hilgers review my case.

It's CD 10 and I already have 10C/KL and it's 1 1/2"+  stretch.  It would be great to ovulate before CD 21, but I'll have to wait and see if that's what happens.

Still waiting

Just a quick update, Dr. Hilgers's reply to my letter should hopefully be here some time this weekend (probably towards the end is my guess).  

As of now, I'm not bleeding anymore (it's CD 9, and it could always start again).

Nothing yet

I haven't yet received anything from Dr. Hilgers.  I knew that there was only a small chance that I would be getting my response by today, but I was hoping that it would come.  I guess there's a possibility that testing could get started this cycle, but I think that every day that goes by makes it less likely.

I've had pretty strong cramps all day.  I don't know if they bothered me more since all I had to do today was get the kids I nanny for to and from school (the parents are out of town and grandma is watching the little one during the day).  They seem stronger than what I've had in the last few months (although there in line with what I've had before).

D played basketball yesterday, and he went to go work out after work today.  Hopefully this is the beginning of a good habit.  Now I just need to get him to take his vitamins regularly; he's horrible about remembering.

I finally got around to registering at our parish.  I started going to Mass regularly in September, but D had said that he might look for a new job and we might move (not in the cards for now).  I put on the registration that I'd be interested in VITA, the pro-life ministry.  I hope that I'll be able to find a good way to volunteer and also get to know some people at church.  Currently, I only know the teachers at the church school and the parents and students I taught for 2 months last year (before realizing that teaching is not how I want to spend my life).  

N, the oldest child of the family I nanny for, is in the grade with the kids that I taught.  It's funny to spend so much time at that school now.  S, the 3-year-old girl, is in PK-3 there too.  S has been have more behavior problems at school after Christmas.  She had some problems with listening and following directions at the beginning of the year, but she had been doing pretty well before Christmas.  However, it seems like she has reverted during the break.  Since I'm the one who picks her up, I am the one who hears about the day from her teachers (they send a note as well when she has a "red" (poor behavior) day).  She is a very willful girl, and doesn't do to well with respecting authority.  She is very smart so she is the youngest in her class, which can be a big deal at 3.  The little boy, W, is 16 1/2 months and is very funny.  He talks a little, but get very frustrated when you don't understand or take something from him.  He's generally very sweet though (despite headbutts of love).  He always comes to me when I come over, even when it's not for work, and wants me to hold him or hug him.  

I'm still trying to figure out what I want to do with my life (careerwise).  I hope to be able to be a SAHM after we have kids, but I'll probably go back to work once they are all in school.  I don't know what I want to do then , but I'd like to figure it out in the near future.  It's something that I try to remember to pray about.

Cycle #16

Yesterday was CD 1, as expected.  I was praying yesterday at Mass that I would at least have a clear CD1, since I've been bleeding for more than a week.  I said a prayer of thanks that my prayer was answered.  

D read a little of my blog yesterday.  He has known about my blog for a while, but he hasn't read it before.  I don't think that he found it very interesting, but I guess I'll find out if he keeps reading.  

D has been trying to lose weight off and on for a while.  He gets down close to his goal, but has problems maintaining.  He seems to sabotage himself (especially by having too many beers).  I have been praying for guidance on how to help him to be able to stay on track and that God will help him stay on track.  Note: the next part is not bragging just information.  A small bit of the problem is that I'm at or under the weight that I need to be, so I'm trying to figure out how to help him while keeping myself where I need to be.  I cook homemade meals except for one day a week, but he often goes out for lunch (partly stress relief).

D is going to start back with basketball, but I need to figure out how else we can both stay active.  I have gotten back into doing yoga after stopping for a couple months, but D doesn't like the same type of yoga I do.  

I know that I shouldn't be worrying about this, but there's only 3 more cycles for me with a chance for a 2009 baby.  

Waiting

I'm still spotting/bleeding, but it's not heavy enough to count as my period yet.  It looks like it'll be another time where I'm bleeding for at least 20 straight days (I'm already at 10).  I've been feeling sad and stressed.  My 5 1/2 year old computer is falling apart, but it's going to be a while before we can get a new one. we won't have our credit card balances paid off until July and then we have to save up for a computer.  My car (2001 Honda) is still in good shape, but it's in for a major service costing about $600 since it's got almost 150,000 miles on it and we plan to keep it for hopefully about 5 more years.  

I contacted PPVI since it's been almost 6 weeks since they receive my letter.  They said that Dr. Hilgers will hopefully be working on the response this weekend.  She took my email address and will email me the letter when it's ready, so that's good news.  Most likely, I won't be able to do anything until next cycle unless the response is on Monday or Tuesday.  Of course testing and treatment will cost money.

I know I shouldn't be worrying about things as much as I am.  I need to work on putting things in God's hands.  I'm almost finished reading Left to Tell; I need to be more like Immaculee, her faith in such harrowing circumstances is amazing.

Desperate for answers

I'm getting to the point where it's been about 5 weeks since Dr. Hilgers received my letter, and I'm praying that the reply will come soon (the letter acknowledging my letter said about 6 weeks). I know that I'm going to be starting a new cycle soon (Fri-Sun is when I expect CD 1). I'd like to be able to get testing done this coming cycle. I feel stuck, and the bleeding doesn't help. I just need to know what's wrong with me.

I loved AYWH's post on trusting that God will answer her prayers. I need to work on doing that, too. Sometimes I'm not even confident enough in my belief to pray for children. D and I talked about what we would name our children long before we got married, so we have names. I haven't brought up much baby-related stuff recently, because I feel like I'm bringing up stuff that won't end up happening.

My goal for this year is to be more charitable (financially, with my time, and in my thoughts). I told D to budget in donation money when he worked on our budget, and I'm looking for a good volunteer opportunity.

I'm still bleeding. It's more than spotting and less than a full period flow. I'm at 7-9 DPO/Peak+7. That's it for a cycle update. I updated my crazy Creighton chart. I'm going to need more red stickers soon.

Year in Review 2008

My 2008:

January- After the end of a long cycle, I see my ob/gyn and take my first round of clomid.

February- Get a BFN after the first round of clomid.  Begin second round of clomid.  

March- Late ovulation on clomid (day 28).

April- Another BFN.  D's 26th birthday.  Third round of clomid, triggering with hcg.

May- Another BFN. No more clomid.  Started Vitex, Evening Primrose Oil and B6.

June- Unexplained bleeding starts right after ovulation followed by BFN.

July- Still have bleeding after ovulation, BFN.  1st wedding anniversary. See ob/gyn about bleeding, but blood tests and an ultrasound give no answers.  Take provera to hopefully stop bleeding.  

August- SIL's wedding.  Still having bleeding after ovulation, BFN.

September- Learn about and begin Creighton charting.  Stop Vitex and EPO.  Still have bleeding after ovulation. Start break cycle.

October- My 28th birthday.  No bleeding after o on break cycle.  

November- First cycle trying again, long cycle with double peak and bleeding just before ovulation.  Sent letter to Dr. Hilgers.

December- Long cycle ends, BFN.

Bleeding to start the new year

I was wrong to think that I was done with unusual bleeding.  Yesterday was 3-5 DPO (Peak+3) and I had bright red bleeding.  It has slowed and gone to brown.  I really hope that I'll get a response from Dr. Hilgers within the next week.  I need to start feeling like I'm making progress by a least having some testing.

Christmas

As I posted earlier, D and I were able to go home for Christmas.  D came home from work about 4 on Christmas Eve, said he had off on Friday, and then we finished packing and left.  We got home just in time for me to make it to 9pm Mass with my family.  Only my youngest brother was in town so we ended up spending more time with D's family.  On Christmas Day, we opened presents at D's parents' house first, and then went to my parents' house for present and early Christmas dinner.  After dinner with my parents, we went back to D's parents' and ate late dinner with them.  D's youngest sister and her boyfriend were there for dinner.  D's other sister and her husband got in late on Friday night, so we spent time with D's family mainly after that.  I got a Wii for D, so everyone spent a lot of time playing that.

My MIL got some of the pans that we still had left on our registry so I've gotten almost all of my old pans replaced.  

I'm pretty sure that I've oed in the last few days, and our timing should be pretty good.  I've still had a bit of 10C/KL, but the quality isn't as good as it was a couple days ago.  

I hope you had a Merry Christmas

D and I were able to go home for Christmas.  Spending time with the families.  I'll post later

Another cousin is pregnant

I found out yesterday that another one of my cousins is having a baby. This will be the 4th of my cousins (or their wives) who have gotten pregnant since March of this year (and two have had their babies).  Don't get me wrong, I am happy for her.  This is her second child, and her little girl will be three in a couple months.  I'm just sad for myself, that I'm not pregnant yet, and I don't even know what's wrong with me yet.  One side of my family will have 9 great-grandchildren by July, and I'm the second oldest on that side and none are mine.  

I'm still waiting to see 10C/KL or 10KL (so no fertile mucus yet).  I'm on CD 15, so I hope to see it soon.  I've had 10C for the past couple days but it's not really looking like truly fertile mucus.  I'm definitely not going to o on CD 18.

We still don't know if D is off Friday, so we don't know if we are going home for Christmas or just waiting until the weekend.  I'm off starting early this afternoon until the end of the weekend.  I got stuff for Christmas dinner in case we are here.  Luckily, there was already a ham in our freezer that my ILs gave us when their power was out due to Hurricane Ike.

Dating Anniversary and Deep Thoughts

As of today, D and I have been together for 4 years.  Before I started dating D, the longest that I'd ever dated someone was less than 4 months.  Sometimes I still worry that he'll chance his mind, that he'll decide this was a mistake.  I know that this isn't a good way to feel, and I know that he loves me, but I still have a crazy paranoia.  Ever since moving back from England right before first grade, I've always felt a bit precarious in my friendships.  Partly the problem is that so many of my friends have always come through another friend, so if something happens to that relationship then all the other go away too.  Since all my siblings are brothers and they are all younger, they were always the ones who were together.  I was separate.  

Ok, enough with my craziness, I'm on CD 11.  I've had 10C once or twice a day for the last three days or so.  I had some spotting/bleeding on Wednesday and yesterday (probably since I wrote that I wasn't bleeding anymore).  I've finished up my antibiotic and antihistimine/decongestant as of this morning.

D and I had some miscommunicate about what days he has off, so we may not be going home until the weekend after Christmas.  It depends on if he gets approved to take the day after Christmas off.   

Meds, but not for TTC

I've stopped bleeding for the moment.  For me, CD 9 without bleeding isn't too bad.  I went to the my GP last Friday, since I hadn't been able to get over the cold/allergies/congestion/whatever.  I'm taking 6 days of oral cortiosteriods, and 7 days of antibiotics and antihistamine/decongesytants.  I'm feeling mostly better.  

As of today, all my Christmas cards have been sent.  The tree is up and the ornaments are on.  I've still got some shopping left to do for our families.  We are going to be able to spend Christmas Eve through the follow Sunday with both families.  Only one of my brothers will be in town, but both of D's sisters will be there at some point.  

There's not too much else going on right now, but I'll try to update again soon.

Creighton Follow-up yesterday

I had follow-up 5 with my Creighton practitioner yesterday.  As I suspected, I'll be doing yellow stamps for non-peak mucus post peak.  I was starting to worry that I would run out of baby stamps otherwise :).  I'm updating my Creighton chart with the mucus cycle scores and such that she gave me.  She agreed that from 10/22 to 12/8 was all one cycle with a double peak.  The mucus cycle score for the cycle starting 9/22 was 14.6 and for the cycle starting 10/22 was 13.  

In other news, D has an ear infection.  He went to the dr and is on antibiotics and prescription antihistimine/decongestant.  He also got a shot of steriod shot in his butt.  I am actually going to see the same doctor tomorrow because my ears have been bothering me.

Today is day 4 of my 54 day novena, so yesterday I prayed the sorrowful mysteries.  The bearing of the crossing and patient bearing of trial were something that I needed badly to being praying for.

Not real cycle news since I'm on day 3, just normal bleeding.  

The Real CD 1 Cycle 15

I started spotting last night, and my period started earlier today.  The good news is that I've had a 12 day LP for the last couple cycles, instead of 11 days like I had before I started the B6.  It would be great if I could have the response from Dr. Hilgers by the end of this cycle.

I think D is finally getting over his cold.