Postive OPK ?

I got a positive (or at least near positive OPK today). D will be home tomorrow (although we are leaving almost immediately for Houston when he gets home) and hopefully we'll have time to have sex. Hopefully he won't get off work too late, since he has 9 hours of traveling tomorrow. It's 5 hours here, then 4 more to Houston. I'll probably nap until he gets home and then drive from here to Houston.

If the OPK really is positive, this means that I'm going to o around CD 17 or 18 which is great for me, especially since I didn't o last time on clomid until CD 16/17 with trigger. If it does happen, I don't know if it's the clomid still in my system or the Vitex working already.

We'll be staying at his parents' house tomorrow night through Tuesday morning since my youngest brother K graduates high school on Monday night. My other two brothers will be there too. We aren't together as a family much since DF (the oldest of my brother...but younger than me...and he has the same name as my husband) lives in Austin and M/BP (the middle brother) lives in Denver. I haven't seen DF since my grandmother's birthday party in December and M/BP since K's football game we all went to in early November.

I'm looking forward to seeing some of my friends that I haven't seen since late summer or the fall since we'll be in town longer than usual. So far, the plans are on Sunday. It should hopefully be a good and somewhat relaxing weekend, and hopefully we can get in some sex too.

Three more cycles, then it's official

If this cycle and the next two fail, it will officially be infertility. The good news is that I have no reason to believe that I'll o before D gets back, but I'm also not sure that it will be before Tuesday (6/3, CD 21). I often have fertile CM for days before I actually o, and I'm just getting to watery CM. The pattern is pretty similar to what I usually have non-medicated and with those I haven't o'd before CD 21. I figured out that if my cycle are the usually CD 21 with 11-12 LP then I should be o'ing about 9 days (7/5) before our anniversary (also right after July 4). The next cycle I would be o'ing while we are in NY state for SIL's wedding (which is on 8/8).

Home Alone

D left today for Memphis until Friday. His parents were visiting us this weekend, and again we spent most of the afternoon in the yard (although his mom did help me clean the kitchen). My tummy is upset right now, so that plus frustration with D for not putting out and sadness that he would be gone has put me back/deeper in the funk.

I'll probably update more later today or tomorrow.

Last night was a good night

D and I finally got our bedroom sorted out after living in this house for 2 1/2 months. I've still been in a funk, but the attention he paid to me last night has improved my mood. We were up pretty late last night, but it was definitely worth it.

I only had 5 days of FP and a day of spotting, which is actually really short for me (and makes me very happy). I've been having some vision issues, and I'm wondering if it's clomid s/e (even though my last dose was over a month ago). My temp is also kind of high for before o. I've already got watery CM and it's only CD 9. I don't usually 0 until CD 21 (which falls a week from Tuesday), and the only other time that I had fertile CM this early was last cycle when I triggered and o'd CD 17. Hopefully we can maybe get a o on Saturday/CD 18 (since D will most likely be out of town next week from Monday night until late Friday (CD 13 through 17). Even CD 19 or 20 (next Sunday or Monday) would be an improvement for me.

In a funk

I have been in a funk since the BFN a week ago Friday and I just can't seem to get out of it. The fact we aren't going to be moving forward any time soon on going to the RE and getting some medical assistance doesn't help. Plus, I've been sleeping a lot due to the poison ivy. The good news is that I'm not allergic to Vitex or EPO but poison ivy is no fun. I have no confidence right now that I can get pregnant without medical intervention.

D probably has to go out of town next week, and we'll see if the vitex changes my cycle at all. Right now the best time for me to o if D is out of town would be between Sat May 31 (CD 18) and Tues June 3 (CD 21). It wouldn't be great, but at least we'd have a chance. If he's out of town, there's no point in me o'ing before CD 18. I would love to regularly o before CD 21, but this isn't the cycle to start.

D's parents are coming up this weekend. His mom hasn't seen our house yet and his dad hasn't seen it painted yet. We have a busy weekend to get ready, especially dealing with the backyard after the flooding last week. It didn't get in the house, but we did have a couple inches in the garage and it made a mess of the backyard.

Too much?

So D and I were talking yesterday before our friend met us for dinner, and not only does he want to wait to do the initial RE consult until we have a lot more things paid off (maybe by the end of the year but who knows) but he also think that we are having too much sex. We usually start CD 12 or 14 and do it maybe every other day (rarely two days in a row). I don't think that that's the problem and if the problem is related to his swimmers, then he should get an SA done. He won't do it though, at least not right now, and I don't have the energy to fight about it.

I feel like I'm probably going to hit my 28th birthday no closer to having a baby than my 27th birthday. I'm doubting at this point that I can get pregnant without medical intervention, and I don't think that medical intervention will happen until sometime in 2009 (I hope).

D will probably be traveling within the next few weeks, and if I manage to actually o before CD 21, there will be no chance. I agreed to his less sex schedule which is CD 19 and CD 21 only (with maybe once around CD 14 or so) unless I get a OPK+ before CD 19 (assume he's even in town). I don't think that it will help, but I also doubt that anything other than me ovulating earlier is going to have any chance of working anyways.

Hives

I think that I might be allergic to EPO or Vitex. I didn't take the EPO this morning, and I guess that I'll have to stop taking Vitex tomorrow. I'm itchy and benadryl hasn't helped. The rash seems to be spreading. Plus I have a headache and cramps from FP.

Craziness and cycle #9

Cycle #9 officially started today. We are now at 10 months TTC as of today. Our house almost flooded last night. The water almost got up to the back door. It rained more today, so hopefully everything will be ok once I get home. I barely got to work today because of high water. I have a rash on both my forearms, and benadryl hasn't really calmed it down. I really hope that I'm not having an allergic reaction to Vitex or Evening Primrose Oil. I'm looking forward to going home and taking some benadryl and crashing. I may have D pick up some dinner or something.

Feeling disappointed

The sadness of this cycle has been somewhat drawn out since I've been feeling sad since Friday. I feel like we only really got one good shot and now I have to wait for 6 months or more (basically at the end of the year or beginning of next year) before D will do any testing, and we are only 2 months short of a year TTC at this point. I know that it's possible that I could get pregnant before we have to go see an RE, but I feel like there is something wrong. Hopefully the Vitex, EPO, and B6 will help regulate and shorten (or at least balance my cycle), and D's swimmers will be helped (although I don't know that there's anything wrong with them since he hasn't had an SA) by his vitamins.

I should hopefully be getting FP tomorrow, if the pattern from last time is followed. I just want to get it over with and get to o time again.

BFN beta and plan for next cycle

My dr's office called to tell me that my beta was negative. I was expecting that due to the negative test that morning.

I'm going to be doing unmedicated cycles for a while, since the obgyn said that we need to move on to the RE to do any more treatment. DH wants to plan down some more of our debts before we start doing any treatments so we aren't going to go yet. My hope is to start testing in 6 months or so and we may wait until next April or so to do any treatment (assuming I don't get and stay pregnant in the meantime). I'm 27 so we have time, but I don't want to waiting too much longer than that.

I'm start Vitex today, with EPO and B6. DH hasn't had an SA, but I figure it's better to assume that there is improvement to be made. He is taking arginine, zinc, selenium, l-carnitine, and a multivitamin (he's also taking B1 and B6 for other reasons).

BFN at 14/15 DPO

I got a BFN this morning. I'm 14/15 DPO and 16DPtrigger. I've gotten my beta b/w done tonight, but there's a very high likelyhood I'll be moving on to Cycle #9 in the next few days once I stop the progesterone. I knew that testing on Mother's Day was not going to give me good results.

12/13 DPO...starting to get crazy

I'm having bouts of irrational sadness and yesterday while D went for his run, I started crying after watching Cold Case. Normally I would probably test today, but since I triggered, I'm waiting until Sunday. It would suck for it to be a false positive. I'm going back and forth between hope and hopelessness. I'm ready for Monday and answers. We are going out on Sunday with my parents for a Mother's Day brunch/lunch, and if I do have a positive test I plan to tell them then.

I started D on vitamins. He had been taking a multivitamin, but not daily and I added l-caritine, arginine, zinc, and selenium. I didn't tell him what they were for beyond what's on the bottle, but I don't think it's a bad idea. Since he isn't getting an SA done any time soon, I might as well assume that improvements can be made (plus he doesn't eat a lot of fruit or vegetables). My best friend graduates from nursing school tomorrow, so we are going to stay with her tonight, go to her graduation tomorrow, and go to see our parents tomorrow afternoon.

One year off the pill

My first cycle off the pill started a year ago last Saturday (May 3), and we weren't really trying for the first two months, but weren't avoiding either. I was worried that I'd get pregnant before the wedding (July 14), which clearly wasn't an issue since 10 months after I'm not (at least not that I know of yet). My beta is on Sunday, 4 days from now (though I won't get the results until Monday). I do plan to test on Sunday since I'll be 16dptrigger so it should be out of my system if I'm not pregnant. I haven't talked to my dr yet to see if we'll try one more medicated cycle, but I'll probably just wait until they call with the beta results.

Edit: I now wish that we had waited until we got married, but you can't change the past.

9/10 DPO and my life outside TTC

I'm currently 9/10 DPO and I don't plan to test until Sunday (of course it's Mother's Day...I'm predicting BFN, which is also the day of my beta. I'm of course hoping that I'm pregnant, but I have no confidence that I actually am.

My parents were visiting this weekend and we actually spent all of Saturday afternoon in the yard weeding. We're going to my BFF's graduation this Saturday, and then we are going to visit our parents. D's mom will be out of town at SIL's bridal shower, but his dad will be around. Just in case I am pregnant, we got grandma cards for Mother's Day.

I'm glad that I don't feel as uncomfortable around babies as some people who are taking a while to TTC, since I'm a nanny for a 2 1/2 year old and a 8 month old. I couldn't have taken this job, which is tiring but is a lot of fun. I'm much happier than when I was teaching and it's much more rewarding and fun than working retail.

Ovary pains and Zeus

So I've had some ovary pain the last couple days since o, it was bothering me last night especially. I mentioned it to D and D asked me how Zeus was. I asked him who Zeus is? Zeus, as I now know is our phantom embryo (hopefully soon to be unphantom). D has taken to asking me if I'm pregnant a lot in the last few days. Hopefully Zeus started his (or her) journey through zygotehood to embryohood and has divided and is preparing to hatch and implant soon. I guess we'll know in about 9 or 10 days if he is following directions (always a good trait in a kid). I'm feeling somewhat hopeful, although I haven't talk to my dr. yet to see what the plan will be if I'm not pregnant. I guess I'll worry about that once I have taken a HPT and done a beta.